The Mom in me...

This is one of the times every year that the Mom in me comes out, not just for family and friends but to everyone. So here goes....Tonight as you celebrate the last moments on the clock that is 2010 and wait in great anticipation to greet the beginning of 2011 I have a request. If you must drink alcohol then please do not drive, we all want to see more than just the first few minutes of the New Year. If you are out and about, be aware of where you are and who is around you, celebration does not mean you can't be cautious. If you intend to light up the sky, please follow the directions to be sure you don't light up anything else. Most important of all, no matter what take time to thank God for the years gone and the year to come and show those you care about that you love then every chance you get.

Happy New Year to Everyone!
DV

Out with the old ...

Every new year since my teen years I have thought long and hard about the lessons of the old year and what if anything I needed to improve upon. These resolutions are always well thought out and every year one particular resolution makes the list yet is never accomplished. It could be that this resolution simply goes against the person that I am at my core or maybe I am just too afraid of what it would truly mean if this one powerful change came to be. I tell you this because as this year comes to its end I have begun reflecting and it has occurred to me that if I resolve to make changes, shouldn't these changes be like the seed of a tree, planted carefully in fertile soil. Something that as time goes by will not only cause me to be proud of the fruits of my labor but more importantly bring me true joy. That said I resolve this year never to add this resolution to my list again for some seeds are simply not meant to bare fruit.

D.V.

soon and very soon...

Well everyone Christmas is just around the corner, are you ready? I am not. Never the less, I wish you all the best Christmas that God can provide...after all this day is not about money or material things, it is about the birth of Jesus and I simply cannot think of a better reason to celebrate...can you?

Deo.

USA Characters Unite

USA Characters Unite

Winter!

I have a sneaking suspicion that this shall be a winter to remember. I had to go out tonight for a bit and if I told you I had any feeling in my toes or fingers I would be lying. So as you can imaging I am rather hesitant about Christmas shopping because if you have not already figured it out, I am not one for the numbing sensation that comes with this sort of weather. Never the less the list is long and for some reason, it keeps getting longer...some people keep changing their wish list. I suppose they are trying to keep me on my toes...might as well, I can't feel them anyway. Have a safe and rewarding time as you all shop around this season and try not to forget that age old saying "it's the thought that counts"

D.V.
December 7, 2010.

Memories

I hear you knocking
like wind rocking
the trees of fall
I hear you call
I hear you screaming
in nightmares dreaming
swallowed by the dark
longing for that spark
I hear your footsteps
your every regret
paths taken that cannot be undone
I hear you breathless as you run
faster and faster to your fate
every turn that you debate
I hear your laughter
this day and after
through the crystal of your tears
through the dawn of all your fears
I feel you breathing
of heart so fleeting
drifting as the waves of morrow
I taste the salt of your sorrow
I hear you slipping
the clock that's ticking
reaching out to the abyss
so many things you'll surely miss
I hear your reason
for every season
winter blue, from old to new
spring of birth, each seed of worth,
summer sweet shine, hours true divine
fall...return to earth, priceless is thy worth
believe that which you are
God's hand picked shining star
I see you growing
in time of knowing
as age finds you with time
each turn upon this chime.
I hear you loudly beyond your whisper
and in truth, here is the kicker...
I hear you though these ears have fallen deaf...
for from this heart that beats, you never left.

Deo Volente
December 2, 2010

Falling...

Catch me if you dare,
‘tis not the fall I fear.
What scares so deep inside this soul
is what lies at the end of old.
So catch me if you know,
for then it shall be so.
On cliff that taunts with height alone,
where earth collides with clash of stone.
Sweet wind shall find thy sail,
without the gust of tale.
There is no wax upon thy wing,
no idle tune for heart to sing.
So failure shall not be,
where marvel beckons free.
Where sky is blue and cloud is white,
where life has beacons of delight.
Falling I shall be…
like leaves of winter’s tree.
So if at all ‘twas meant my dear,
then catch me without thought or fear,
for I have done the same, to life, to love, exclaim…
on wind that calls thy name.

Deo Volente
December 2, 2010

Always Lost

Did you know I am "directionally impaired"... I am almost always lost! Fully aware of this affliction I decided to accept an invite to Atlanta because I needed to get away. It was the first time since I became a Mother that I have packed up and left my family behind and that in and of itself was hard enough. Still at the first sight of day, off I went...the wind was bone chilling and traffic was smooth, minus the woman who was going around 90, bopping and weaving through traffic and doing her makeup. I had to wonder if she was trying to be, as they say, casket sharp...so I took the nearest rest stop to put some safe distance between us. All in all the drive there was not too bad, I enjoyed my visit for more reasons than I can count but soon it was time to head back. I had my directions in hand and I felt sure I would be fine, after all I got there ok. What I didn't consider was, on the way there my husband with the best of intentions, went on the computer while talking to me on the phone and rerouted me, to make the trip easier. Needless to say, I did not make note of the "easier" path, I simply chose to back track using the original directions...big mistake! I went almost 45 minutes out of my way and to add insult to injury, ended up having to maneuver my way through a maze of one way streets just to get back to where I started...I was so angry with myself. I honestly thought that I had finally turned a page in this chapter... I have successfully driven to Florida and back without any real problems so why did this happen now. Then I wondered if it was divine intervention... as the saying goes "no man is an island" could it be I needed to be reminded that as much as I play an important role in my husband and children's lives, they too play just as important a role in mine. For truth be told the children keep me grounded and their Dad always helps me find my way.
Safe travel this holiday season everyone...may you reach your destination and always find your way back home.

D.V.
December 1, 2010

Good morning

The sun does not shine, on this morning of gray
I watch the clouds linger and wish them away.
It’s cold and it’s dreary but still my heart sings,
for in it, I recap my favorite things.

My hair is quite messy, my wrinkles all show,
which causes much laughing yet on I will go...
to tackle so bravely those stairs,
the reminder of all of my years.

Parts creak and parts crack like they didn’t before
and believe it or not there are part that hurt more,
but I’ll face it one step at a time,
for this heart beats of sweet hope sublime.

I’ll sing out a medley of songs old and new,
to conquer this grayness with shadows of blue
and dance about freely I say,
yes I’ll be my sunshine today...
at least till these clouds go away.

Deo Volente
November 22, 2010

Invited...

Yesterday was a day that came by way of many moods and chaos, it was to be but not of heart. I was invited to share in a celebration because one stranger thought of me. Such is the story of my life, I quietly do; forever in the background is my position. I once told a friend that the best way to describe me is invisible and I like it that way. Yesterday however, all eyes for a moment turned to me and needless to say I felt like running. If I could have shed my skin I would have but it was not an option so I stood. In the back as always, in the shadows as usual but this time, for just a moment, I was seen. I thank the kind stranger and all those who felt it important to look back in the shadows... I am not perfect, I am simply human, I live quietly, humbly and always in hope that God is with me. I do the things I do because I firmly believe that I should treat others the way I wish to be treated. There is no need in my eyes to thank me for that, I honestly know no other way to be.

D.V

Thinking...

Today was a beautiful day for all the reasons that make fall a season near and dear to my heart. I stepped out of my "cave" so to speak, into the middle of a sunny, breath taking minute of my life. It occurred to me that Christmas is fast approaching and Thanksgiving is around the corner, yet the spirit of it all has not found me this year. Too many things have seeped into my sense of peace, too many dreams deferred for reasons no longer important, too many days in the dark...wasted. The thing is, I am well aware that each of these things lost can never return but I still find my heart has begun to grieve. Time is catching up on this old woman and now I wonder how to let go of what erodes my soul so that I may once again know how to be thankful and joyful for the things that have and continue to shower this simpletons life with blessings. Never the less, I want to wish you and everyone in this world of ours, a wonderful, breath taking day, today and every day in between and to offer a little advise... "always find balance or the scale will become a burden that you carry."

Deo

Pieces

All the pieces from the creases
Of a whole that should have been
Every fragment of the patchwork
All the colors sewn right in
Quilt of memories, layered moments
Where the patterns shall begin
Missing stitches, broken wishes
Every part so thick so thin
We are crafters true designers
As these lives we’re woven through…
Make the pieces and the creases
That become both me and you.

Deo Volente
November 4, 2010

Bee..

To bee
So busy so free
Driven by the smell of each flower
Wasting no time in your hour

Sweet bee
Of heart I surely see
The maker of golden honey
Lust not of wealth nor money

Such toil of thee
Oh precious bee
Without the thought of rest
You give it all your best…
I wish I had your zest.

Deo Volente
October 27, 2010

Tribute to Emily Dickinson

Yes I could write a thousand words
on paper etched in breath
and still my strokes would not be heard
until they meet with death
For I am but as still as stream
without a currents push
A lifeless tree that garners not
the thought of second look
Not sprinkled by the lure of fall
with all her colors bright
A simple soul that lingers on…
the skirt tails of the night
Companion to the distant glow
of stars perched in the sky
To kiss the world with earnest love
no matter harsh deny…
one thousand words, of heart of soul…
to which life shan’t reply.

Deo Volente
October 21, 2010

Anger...

One breath closer
one minute older
each turn within this time
these tools of every chime.
One step farther
one grip harder
another laden stone
from flesh to destined bone.
If eyes won’t see
then hands will seek
to grope about
in darkness deep
on journey carved and sealed
from destiny revealed.
Why waste one step
one breath
one chime...
On fruitless things of fickle stime,
When so much more can be,
Which hand shall turn thy key?
Old friend, I must agree.

Deo Volente
October 15, 2010

Beautiful she...

How beautiful is she

This lady in bloom
Who grows up so soon
A smile that shines as the sun
Oh spirit of youth to be sung
Of glory of faith
So vibrant I state
Those eyes that capture life’s art
As talented as she is smart

How gracious is she
This child that I see
A heart that echoes desire
Blazing her trail much like fire
Her mark she will make
No, make no mistake
As tall as the mountains she’ll stand
Lead by the grace of God’s hand

Yes fortunate me
To know what I see
A marvel that time does unfold
As wonderful as she is bold
Sweet lady it shows
Young lady that knows
Through sunlight and rain you shall grow…
Dear lady I do love you so.

Deo Volente
September 28, 2010

growing up

I reconnected with an old friend the other day and in conversation he shared that he hated being a grown up. Turns out that's not the whole truth, he just misses youth...the days of blissful ignorance, dare devil dreams, endless possibilities and adventure. Children tend to fantasize about adulthood, thinking it will merely signifies freedom. Freedom from parents and their boundaries, teachers and their rules...etc. What the mind of a child fails to grasp is the responsibility that comes with and for some of us it can be quite disappointing. Me I like being in charge of my life, I have a healthy respect for responsibility and I would never ever wish to return to yesteryear. If you happen to know me or have read my thoughts consistently then that should not surprise you what might however is that I believe that I have failed. I have spent every moment of my life catering to paving someone elses path, making sure that one person or another is o.k. or something to that effect and though for the most part I love these people whole heartedly, it's become apparent that I have lost myself along the way. If I had to guess, then I would say, that is the risk one takes when they look back ie reconnect with old friends. In doing so they are forced to see the dreams of their youth and to ponder which if any have come to fruition. The thing is, if none of them have, one has to wonder why. Life in my opinion is nothing more than a maze of winding roads, some with bold signs others with none. It is through a series of choices that one finds their way to where ever they end up and the only catch is; there is no turning back. Once you enter a path, you simply must complete the journey, yet it is all meant for us to learn and grow. The thing that worries me is I may have learned / learnt but I have not applied that knowledge to ensure growth. Try not to misunderstand, success in terms of wealth and status is not the growth I speak of. I am humble enough to not be swayed by the material, it is the emotional aspect of growth to which I refer. The sense of true accomplishment, much like the one you get from quietly doing a good deed. I seem, to my dismay, have stalled like an old and worn down car. Needless to say, now I wonder if I am simply out of time...though the fat lady hasn't started to sing I distinctly hear her humming.

D.V.

End of this rope...

Have you ever undertaken a task that you thought would be, well, simple and found many moons via blood, sweat and tears that it was anything but? If you have then I would like to request permission to officially join your club. Apparently I have lost the proverbial race with that pesky tortoise, for it took almost 15 years of my life to figure it out. Now that I have, what will I do you may ask, to that I shall respond in the only way appropriate...RUN! I shall pack up in the face of defeat, step into the light of shame and move on for I simply have no more fight... I am not usually one to give up but what else can I do. The situation brings to mind that old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink" this horse is as stubborn as his distant cousin, Gods will be done!

D.V
9.20. 2010.

perspective...

I drove to the drive through against my better judgement, I do not like junk food. Still the little voice that reasoned so well from the back seat convinced me to, so I did. I listened to the ramble that I never understand which I assume is their way of convincing customers to spend more money than they intend to. I then placed my simple order, 2 items, no frills, no extras, just two things...easy right? I followed the instructions, made the payment, got the receipt and waited for my order. A smiling woman handed me a bag, which I do not check and proceed to drive off...as I pull away she yells out the window "your drink" to which I respond " I did not order one" that was red flag I couldn't ignore, so I checked the bag. Needless to say I got someone elses order, strangely enough, I wasn't angry, a bit put out, but not angry. I calmly found a spot, parked, explained the situation to the small passenger and we walked in to explain the mix up. I wasn't even at the counter and the smiling Lady caught my eye, arm out stretched with my order, she immediate apologized and said I should keep the wrong order on them. I thanked her, took my order and headed back to the truck when the little passenger said "that's nice, now you have something too" I couldn't help but smile, isn't it wonderful how children see the positive side of things.

D.V.
September 14, 2010.

Virgo

This is the time of year that has me spinning, so many birthdays, so little organization. It doesn't matter how much I try to prepare I never seem to get the wishes out exactly as I would like. Never the less, I love it because these Virgos represent; my dearest friends and family members, people I love with all my heart...not that I don't love the non Virgos. The fact is; these individuals are some of the most beautiful people you could ever hope to meet. They are blunt to a fault, passionate beyond reason, devoted like no other and make no bones about it, they will cut you off in a heart beat if you rub them to wrong way. So I suppose I am fortunate to have so many of these beautiful people to share my life with...Virgos, you just have to love them!

D.V.

Tomorrow...in lieu of today.

Today was a day of old, twisted into the seconds of the clock like so many before it. Should that cause me bliss of contentment or fury of complacency? I am pleased that I have been blessed to take another breath, another dance, another step and yet I am weary of stale air and silent ballrooms. I wonder, does anyone know what I mean? does anyone understand this feeling but I? I fear the hand of God looms above me ready to smite, for I am not joyful or perhaps because I have failed to bury the seed of this marvelous fruit so that it might grow and bloom. Perplexing isn't it? uncertainty is the petri-dish of discontent, the fungi of misery. Shall I push beyond this preponderance and say; tomorrow will be a day unlike the one before it. A gift that shall not remain packaged, tossed in the corner of a dark closet, gathering dust...dare I be so bold as to profess, I this simpleton, who knows too well the mundane, shall venture out into exploration and feast on the secrets of life, the subtle fruit of living. I, mother, wife, woman, shall bloom like no flower before me, shall grab these days of life that remain and breathe as though every breath counted for something greater. Dance as though I ruled the stage, live as though life depended on it...for indeed, life is nothing if not for the pleasure of living.

Deo Volente
August 24, 2010

The quiet storm

Two days of short, heavy, bursts of rain. I can honestly say this is the first time I have ever seen the creek overflow. As I watched the water rise and rush I started to wonder, not about the possibility of flooding but rather about the power of nature. I was pulled in by the sound and the sight of the creeks might and I smiled. If I were a daring woman, I would have stepped in just to see where it would take me, just to feel the power of this creek that for years was calm. I am much like the creek I believe, I have what it takes to power through the pathways of life, to break over the walls that confine me, to rush past the boulders in my way... if only, when the storms of life find me.

DV
August 19, 2010.

Everyone's a critic

I was watching the television and it occurred to me that most commercials are, well, stupid. I don't mean silly, ha ha, I mean pointless, so out there you are left wondering what the point was. Then there are a few works of true talent, as they all should be. The ones that have you laughing, singing along, the ones that catch your attention and leave an impression. That my friend is the difference between throwing something out there and a work of art. Needless to say it all got me thinking, what if I were to critic the endless commercials that seem to rule the world of television...maybe I will, after all, everyone is a critic!

D.V.

It made me wonder...

what happens when the evil dies
the darkness found beyond your eyes
that thing that keeps you watching
does life turn into nothing
when you become obsessed to find
what lurks both in and out of time
what one must truly feel
to know that it is real
that thing that casts a shadow wide
enough that it can surely hide
from all who tries to see
do you then cease to be...
or are your fears set free.

Deo Volente
July 24, 2010

If

if only...
I could touch the stars
to take each one into my arms
I'd drown inside their glow
I love them don't you know

if only
I could reach the moon
beyond the strength of earthy pull
to glide from tip to tip
upon the moon I'd skip

if only
I could touch the sky
each cloud no more than inches by
I'd drift off in the blue
and bid sweet Earth adieu

if only
I could bravely scale
each mountain side and never fail
I'd stand upon each summit
just proud that I had done it

if only
I could sail the seas
from shore to shore with stroke of ease
each wave another guide
upon its strength I'd glide

if only
I could know this Earth
before its wonder knows my girth
then if would simply be...
the cast that makes the key
that sets this spirit free.

Deo Volente
July 18, 2010

Age

Somewhere inside a young girl hides
not quite a sweet sixteen,
full of life, of hopes, of dreams.
Ready to take on the world,
a stubborn, feisty, naive girl.
Thirsty for adventure,
refusing to surrender.
As time goes by she finds more rage,
while I sit back and slowly age.
Sweet girl much you don't know
but I wont let you go.
You are the blue within my fire,
your spark, no question I desire.
The vibrance of your light,
gives me the strength to fight
and though your road I do not envy,
you fill this aging heart a plenty.
Sweet girl that I adore
so spread thy wings and soar...
oh youth within my core.

Deo Volente
July 17, 2010

Incomparable...

There is no sound as beautiful
as the voice of encouragement
no touch as gentle
as the hand of support
no thought as charitable
as an act of selflessness
no gift so precious
as the blessing of a child...
and no blessing as great
as Gods undying love.

Deo Volente
July 14, 2010

Lost...

Another day wasted
another day lost
a price to be paid at dearest cost
dreams unfulfilled
hopes gone away
another chance not taken
is all I can say

Another path ventured
a future unknown
a heart whispers softly
beyond flesh and bone

One breath slowly taken
two eyes open wide
as minutes turn to hours
more wishes set aside

if not for the challenge
if not for the pain
if not for the doubts
that come with the rain
if not for the reasons
that find their way through
to poison the magic of all one could do

another day wasted
another day lost...
tis only on the final chime
will life reveal the cost.

Deo Volente
July 12, 2010

just a thought

If by failure I gain knowledge
then by failure I succeed

DV
July 3, 2010

Quantity not Quality...

As though the crashing of my computer and the loss of 4 years, yes 4 years worth of poetry and photos wasn't enough, the air conditioner decided to die while we were out. Since both were purchased 5 years ago I have to wonder if they were designed that way. I am beginning to think that these things we have become so dependent upon are made not to last but rather to fail so as to increase the profit margin of those who make them. I know I have asked this before but I have to ask again... what ever happened to quality man made products? It is amazing to me that structures built by ancient civilizations still stand virtually untouched 100 years later and we, with all our advancements are incapable of building or making something that lasts at least 1/10 of a century....

Deo Volente
June 28, 2010

Woman

Catch her in the winds sweet smell
Tis not of love but core she’ll tell
Words elude her
Whispers move her
This breath of life she could not catch
As days bore fruit and wonders hatched
Where passions ran so deep
To live, to love, to sleep
Where mirrors told their tale of lies
Twas by the might of wind she’d fly
On wings of glory’s own
Life’s blessings lead her home...
once child, how much she’s grown.

Deo Volente
June 16, 2010

soccer fever

Every four years I get loud, nothing gets me going like a good soccer match. I never watch with a favorite in mind, I let the matches determine who I cheer for and no it is not about the score, it is about the players. When a team plays, clean, fair and hard they earn my voice in their corner. That said I must tell you, I have a pet peeve...goalies who leave their goal open. A goal keepers job is to defend his goal, it is his only job. So whenever a goalie ventures out into the thick of the game it gets my blood boiling, especially when as a result of his misstep he fails to stop a strike. Today I thought Spain's goalkeeper caused their loss, he should have stayed in the goal and on top of that his effort to stop the ball was overkill so I say...good for Switzerland, they deserve that win.

DV

high not low

Today I was determined to have a good day and all was well until I got the mail. How is it that there are days that no matter how hard you try the cosmos is determined to throw you off. None-the-less I am proud to say that after the initial jolt that came with the unwanted news... I, keeper of my sanity, made the decision to jump back on the horse that is my pleasant disposition and ride into a night of unwavering joy. Yes, I am in a good mood and I am determined to keep it that way.

DV

dreading summer

Ok, you may have noticed that I am not at all enthused about this summer, truth be told it is the first time I have found myself not thrilled at the thought of summer. I hope that this feeling will dull and as the days roll by I will rekindle my love affair with the season. Till then I am counting the minutes and watching the clock slowly move forward.

Make hast you turning hands of time
be swift about these days of mine
I've lost this love of old
this heart to thine is cold
where passion was a fevered boil
now tick and tock of endless toil
so minuscule the pleasure
of days I once would treasure
sweat beats upon this weary face
as I must walk this wretched pace
one foot before the next
this season has me vexed
yet truth be told I must declare
tis not for season I am here
immersed in web of toil
events did season spoil
these boulders mounting one by one
has done my love of summer wrong
they've tainted what was true
grey skies that once shone blue
now turn like casket screw.

Deo Volente
June 08, 2010

not yet...

Summer, you've crept up on me
like a thief under the blanket of night
I shiver with the chill of you
cringe at the thought of your touch
would it be rude of me to tell you go!
of summers past I pine
you, new summer, are not mine.


Deo Volente
June 07, 2010

Thoughts

I often have so many thoughts rushing through my mind that I find it almost impossible to rest, which means sleep becomes a figment of my imagination, for without rest, sleep shall not be. It is at times like these that I tend to write the most, not merely because these thoughts bombard me but rather because it is the only way to quiet them. I must put them on paper to remove them from my mind, sounds crazy doesn't it? It may surprise you to know that being that way doesn't worry me. It is when I am unable to put pen to paper no matter how many thoughts trample across my mind that worries me. When words fail me, for it is then that I find myself feeling lost in a sea of my own emotions and no matter what I do, until I am so moved these waves cannot come ashore, leaving me despairingly adrift, destined for the wreckage that I have concluded, must without question be the solid white of insanity.

Deo Volente
June 2, 2010

Jamaica

I believe there is nothing so hot as that which has reached its boiling point. I fear that this could be the reason for the recent trouble that has erupted in the area of Tivoli Gardens in Kingston Jamaica. I have been feverishly weeding through the many and varied reports and have found to my dismay, that much of what is being circulated is based solely on rumor and has no factual merit. This sort of propaganda is merely fuel for the fire under a pot already boiling over. It is imperative that the truth be told and it hurts me to say that I am yet to find the whole truth. What I do know is, this began as a result of an extradition request, that violence erupted in retaliation to the signing of said request, which caused the issuance of travel advisories by the international community and most importantly innocent persons mainly children are being affected.

The extradition request for a resident of the Tivoli Gardens area to face multiple charges in the United States was delayed through court proceeding and legal technicalities for several months by the Jamaican Government most notably the Prime Minister. Only God knows the true reason for the delay but it is my belief that this delay for whatever reason gave those who opposed it ample time to prepare for what seems to be outright war. Starting with access roads to Tivoli being blocked and growing from there.

Police stations in and around the area were targeted, one was set on fire others reported being fired upon. What caused this turn, only those involved would be able to say but in return the Jamaica Armed forces were sent into the affected area in an effort to bring the uprising to an end which as we can safely surmise caused the outside World to sit up and take notice.

The fighting between those individuals and the Armed Forces drew national attention as the casualty rate slowly rose on both sides. As though the situation isn't bad enough, the misinformed along with those who choose not to verify or to question what they've heard have gone viral. Using Facebook, Twitter and Youtube as tools to spread information that is unsubstantiated or in some cases completely false. Much like the Chinese telephone game played as children, information spread, changing and in some cases taking on a life of its own, which resulted in travel advisories being issued from the USA, England and Canada. What those who choose to engage in propaganda fail to realise is they contribute to the compounding damage that the situation already has on those who live in the country.

It hurts my heart to see this beautiful country so divided, this situation will have a ripple effect because it will affect the tourist industry and much of the country depends on this industry to survive. However more painful is the reality that no matter how this ends, it will leave the children caught in the middle of it forever scarred. As anyone who is familiar with Jamaica knows, this is CXC time and the thought of children who live or attend schools in and around the affected area having to face the challenges of this turmoil when they are already on edge about sitting their exams breaks my heart.

This pot has been bubbling for more years than I can count but now that it has began to boil maybe it will be an opportunity for everyone in Jamaica to start fresh, back to the days of "One People" back to the days of "One Love" back to the days of being able to disagree without the need of violence, the days of an island united, an island of persons that not only said but believed the words of their pledge...

JAMAICA PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

Before God and All mankind.

I pledge the love and loyalty of my heart

The wisdom and courage of my mind,

The strength and vigour of my body

in the service of my fellow citizen.

I promise to stand up for justice,

Brotherhood and Peace,

to work diligently and creatively,

To think generously and honestly,

so that, Jamaica, may

under God, increase in beauty,

fellowship and prosperity,

and play her part

in advancing the welfare

of the whole human race.

...God Bless Jamaica
Deo Volente
May 26, 2010

The heart never forgets.

Have you ever found yourself in a position where all the flags and alarms said RUN! well if you have, we have something in common. I find it hard to trust those who have, simply because they could, betrayed my trust. However I have to wonder if in spite of my reservations, considering the circumstances, the words that were so painstakingly uttered and might I add repeated to be sure I heard, were genuine. The thing is, this person has never not once in my life said these things, she may have once or twice "pretended" to care in order to manipulate a situation but never has she done this before. I frankly was dumbfounded, certain (ish) she did not mean a word of it. Yet I found myself feeling sorry for her, I can't imagine how it must feel to be so cold and calculating, that has got to be hard work, don't you think? Never the less there is good in her somewhere I am sure of that after-all God made her. That said I am going to accept her words but leave things just as they are because like it or not we are too far gone to turn back now.

Deo Volente
May 21, 2010

update.

So far this has been a challenging week, it just goes to show one should never get too comfortable.

DV

Sir Rooster

Why does the Rooster crow
please tell me if you know
I'd bet it's not because the day
has started so to make its way
across the burning sky...
that may just be a lie
I tell you if I had to guess
the reason would be his distress
a tortured bird is he
for no he cannot flee
tormented by his feathered cell
each morn he is compelled to yell
to tell the world his tale
for though he is to scale...
his wings shall always fail.

Deo Volente
May 18, 2010.

Wishing...

how beautiful the day, that starts on a wish
a dream cast upon a falling star
from a hope that finds its wings
to a melody that sings
on mountain tops as vast as they are great
how wonderful the feeling of true faith.

two reaching arms that will embrace
contagious smile across one face
to catch the eyes of all who dare to see
a breath that sets the spirit of life free

the drive to live not just exist
finding the strength not to resist
knowing that the sun will always shine
how marvelous the wish that is Divine.

a kiss that sails across the sky
each quenching drop from clouds that cry
birds that sing in harmony their song,
yes a day born from a wish may not be long...
but it simply is too precious to be wrong.


Deo Volente
may 18, 2010.

Wind

oh sweet wind
may I be the leaf
you toss about in swirl and sweep
that flies alone in your embrace
in sonnet of transparent grace
to see what lies beyond the tree
oh in your arms I'd like to be

to hoist that sail of dreams alone
and let your touch direct me home
but fanciful is such delight
for sweet wind you are fierce in might
the gentle that is on your gauge
can quickly turn into such rage

If all you seek is but a leaf
then you become a whispered thief
but if sights set upon the tree
then roots and all yours it shall be
your heavy hand of force...
will not be set off-course

yet foolishly I close these eyes
and wish to be the leaf that flies
for gentle is your sway
if only for a day...
sweet wind to sail away.


Deo Volente
May 18, 2010

Shhhh...

At times I find myself begging for silence
words are marvelous but silence is superior
there is so much power in silence it can be deafening
it begs the speaker to listen, the thinker to think
it moves the believer and shakes the non believer
I adore its power, I covet its presence, I revel in it
every chance I get.
Yes there is Majesty in the toss of the wind
grace in the whisper of love
glory in the sound of the spoken truth
yet none of these can bring me as close to peace as the blessing of silence.
I am told that it is golden, I believe that it is benevolent...
it is my desire today.

Deo Volente
May 16, 2010.

connection

On mother's day I got the usual calls but one seemed to explain the heaviness that was on my heart on Thursday of last week. Maybe I am over thinking it a bit but it would certainly explain why out of nowhere I felt so out of sorts and why just as suddenly as that dark feeling came over me, on Friday when I awoke it was gone. I often wonder if the love we feel for those close to us can actually make us feel their pain even when we are unaware that they are in pain. I suppose that is the theory behind the connection of twins but I am not a twin. Never the less I was informed that a friend had had emergency surgery around the time my heart sank. I thank God it all went well and I pray I never have that heavy feeling again, not just because it felt so overwhelming but because now I know it really means something.

Be Well
Deo Volente
May 10, 2010

darkness.

I believe that some days need more prayers than others, today or rather yesterday was just such a day. Nothing went wrong but everything felt wrong. My heart felt heavy as though something was nagging at me and I just could not shake the feeling. It didn't help at all that I have perhaps the worst headache I have had in my life but still I tried to muddle through it all. It's not the first time I have had this feeling and I suspect it will not be the last. Never the less I figured I would step out into the virtual world and seek some form of pick me up and just as dark as my day was so was my virtual walk. I watched a report about a very grim situation in Jamaica which made me truly sad, then I saw a video about a young woman who had been in a plain wreck and that just made me want to cry. The woman was severely burned but to me, she radiated beauty. I guess yesterday was not meant for laughter, I was simply supposed to wallow in a dreary corner of my soul and muddle through the aches and pains that perched on my heart...maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day, maybe tomorrow my sun will shine.

Deo Volente
May 7, 2010.

hermit I am

I never go where the crowds gather
where others believe they must be
I never blend in with the masses
for fear that somehow I'll lose me

I rather not venture with many
I simply prefer just a few
it's woven so into my being
tis all that my heart knows to do

those paths that are worn
I shaln't tarry
those roads so well paved I ignore
I rather the path never taken
the rugged terrain I adore

It maybe that fear is my motive
it maybe that I am just shy
It could be a fortress of reasons
the truth is I do not know why

I'd rather be one woman standing
a single small voice in the rain
and when each tomorrow comes calling
I'm sure I shall do it again

I rather not follow the pavers
or tar on the path someone made
for I treasure that which makes me marvel
and believe my own path must be laid.

Deo Volente
May 4th 2010

Lessons

If there is to be change
then lessons must take heart
for he who heeds the tides about
is as keen as he is smart
nothing comes to be without a reason
splendor can be found in every season
every road that one must venture
has its journey of surrender...
curves that come about in dark or light
bumps that bring contentment after fright
yes if eyes are never open
then so much shall not be seen
like the sunshine in its' glory
and the endless grass of green
it's true that spring will always follow winter
and wisdom not applied is sure to hinder.

Deo Volente
April 28, 2010.

And... dreams

I dreamt of you last night my dear
we laughed as though we had no care
we talked about a thing or two
while sharing stories old and new
and though my dear we weren't alone
our moments seemed to be our own
just two old friends within a crowd
a blessing God himself allowed...
to find its way into my dreams
which caused my heart this morn to beam.

Deo Volente
April 20, 2010

80 vs 20

I happened to watch the movie why did I get married and though I like the movie I have to say I liked the analogy of the 80 20 rule more than anything else. It holds true that in our time people, men and women alike tend to want what they do not have not realising that they may already have much more... it really is a grass is greener state of mind. The ability to find contentment and joy from the blessings that we are given seems to be impossible for most. Why is that? no one is perfect, of that I am sure but we as a people need to make a greater effort to teach our children to value all things in life no matter how small they may think them to be and to treat others the way they want others to treat them...wishful thinking I suppose.

Deo Volente
April 7th 2010

An angel home bound

Today a son is laid to rest
undoubtedly his parents test.
Their hearts will ache forever more
as angels knocked upon their door
To quickly take into embrace
and leave but memories in his place.
A son not more that 15 years,
today his parents will shed tears.
they'll do their best to comprehend,
a heart that God alone will mend.
Each beat of love and endless grace
each pulse with every bat and base.
Those dreams of years not meant to be,
for God had other plans you see...
but blessed they were to share his smile
To have him for a little while
to hear him laugh and wipe his tears
if only for those 15 years
His room with all his things remain
yet life shall never be the same
Embraced by Jesus at God's side
in heaven he will now reside
and as those left behind will cry
this day they bid their last goodbye...
the heavens will rejoice in song,
for now they're one more angel strong.

Deo Volente
March 25, 2010.

deception

Not I said the fly
as he sat on the fence
so filled with pretence
certain that he would be believed
with the greatest intent to deceive
He gave a big beaming smile
with his own special style
and a wink that did make his eye spark
this fly had the heart of a shark
and although he insisted
the wise they resisted
knowing that the proof was in the cake ...
this fly was cloaked in icing for goodness sake.

Deo Volente
March 20, 2010

Not just a name

If you have ever wondered why I use the name Doe Volente then today you shall have your answer. It's simple really, I could say it's the name given to me at birth, after all it is and I have the birth certificate to prove it... but there is a greater reason and that is its meaning. For those who don't already know Deo Volente means God willing... isn't that beautiful. The idea that every thought, wish, hope, dream and step in life begins and ends with the leap of faith that says, it shall only be if God is willing gives me hope. I am what I consider "a humble believer" I pray in the stillness of my room and the quiet of my thoughts. This blog is merely another way of saying out loud the things that I ponder and I choose to end my thoughts with these words not only because they are my name but more importantly because they remind me that what shall be depends solely on the will of God and what could possibly be more powerful than that.

Deo Volente
March 10, 2010

A wish of morrow...

Tonight, as the darkness,
I dwell within the crack.
The creases of what is to be
and where I can't go back.
A blur of roads once traveled
and trails still yet ahead.
Of words like swirling butterflies
and ones yet to be said.
I sit inside the shadows,
still dreaming of the light.
The dawn that comes in glory...
after, the dead of night.
A wish beyond the distance,
on lights that shine here still.
Though every bit of sparkle,
comes only from their will.
Tis darkness that has swallowed,
my heart in every beat.
So here I sit in silence...
of moments bitter sweet.
Just fading in the distance,
much like what shone before
and praying in the whispers,
that this shall be no more.
With hope that in the morrow,
this light shall blaze anew...
till then, I'm here on bended knees,
for that's all I can do.

Deo Volente
February 28, 2010

Try...

Be it dream or err,
all roads lead somewhere.
Whether paved or broken,
it needs steps to be awoken.
Much like winds within life's sail,
without effort it shall fail.
Remember, every fire was once a spark,
you'll never know until you build that ark.

Deo Volente
February 23, 2010

Marriage

May your marriage bloom
As the perfect spring flower
Rejoicing always in the pleasures of each hour
Rooted in glory and boundless delight
Indelible throughout the days and nights
Alive with blessings and showered with...
Grace,
Eternally nestled in God's warm embrace

Deo Volente
February 12, 2010

uncertainty...

I'm not sure if I'm in a pickle
or if I've simply grown quite fickle
it may just be a stage
brought on by my old age
I'm second guessing all the way
is that just cruel for me to say?
I'm not sure what is best
this may just be a test
How much is too much, I wonder
am I too far gone, I ponder
should I say no and let it be
will that set all my worries free
I want to help, that I know
yet all the signs are telling me no
Lord, help me find the right way to go...

Deo Volente
February 11, 2010

A not so simple thought

Wouldn't it be great to see the world through the eyes of a child? Children stick to the basics, if you've ever watched a child play with a box you should understand what I mean. People seem to forget as they get older what joy truly means. They dwell on the material, obsess about the bills, rush from point to point from activity to activity and run themselves ragged. I wonder how old they were when they lost sight of lifes simple joys; when they stop loving the life they were living and started seeking to live a life they hoped to love...


Deo Volente
February 9, 2010

The MLK way

no! I shall not quietly, retreat into the night
all those hoses, flaming crosses are more fuel for my fight
this road that I will travel I must pave
even if it takes me to my grave
when you clench your fist in fury I'll extend an open hand
I may stumble from your anger but resolve will help me stand
determined not to fight fire with fire
for I know that every flame has to expire
I shall walk with even paces as the trail ahead is steep
when you drag me to your jail cell I will take the time to sleep
resting for the journey still to be
as your bars cannot contain a soul that's free
although hate and separation is what moves you most to speak
I shall use my voice in glory to proclaim we're all unique
for like flowers we are different that I know
just as love will make a garden thrive and grow
I believe that what you reap is what you sow.

Deo Volente
February 6, 2010

step one...

There are a few things I want to do but could it be that I have waited too long to do these things? They are simple things really, trivial things in the grand scheme of things but I really want to do them just the same. I suppose you are wondering what they are, well I tell you what, I have decided that I am going to take a baby step approach to getting these things checked off my "bucket list" and as I check each one I will tell you all about it; wish me luck.

Deo Volente
February 6, 2010

time, life, worry

I am counting the minutes so late,
I worry, I ponder, I wait...
blind trust, I shall not place in man
yet I listen and hope they understand
Motherhood is love without limit
and tonight I am buried deep within it
sleep is not an option I fear
so I linger between worry and care
praying dear Lord for his sake...
this thing that he fights, let him shake.
until then, the minutes are creeping...
as I stand guard and watch my heart sleeping.

Deo Volente
February 3, 2010

a thought

If today your heart is heavy,
hold out hope for tomorrow.
For much like a rainbow,
joy exists after sorrow.
Mountains can be moved by prayer, it's true...
So imagine what a prayer can do for you.

Deo Volente
January 27, 2010

Haiti

My heart goes out to the people of Haiti, they are all in my prayers.

DV

Self serve...

I often wonder if the business world all be it the electronic age, has forgotten the human aspect.
It seems that to speak to a human as opposed to a recorded voice is a novel concept these days. Still there are a few companies remaining that have that option, for those patient enough to navigate the barriers of numerical options and voice commands. Then once you've pressed and eloquently navigated your way to a human, the "service" is such that you begin to question your "good fortune" Is it I or has customer service joined the ranks of the extinct! I wonder why we have become so impersonal and cold in our society and hope this is not merely the beginning.

Deo Volente
January 11, 2010