Tomorrow...in lieu of today.

Today was a day of old, twisted into the seconds of the clock like so many before it. Should that cause me bliss of contentment or fury of complacency? I am pleased that I have been blessed to take another breath, another dance, another step and yet I am weary of stale air and silent ballrooms. I wonder, does anyone know what I mean? does anyone understand this feeling but I? I fear the hand of God looms above me ready to smite, for I am not joyful or perhaps because I have failed to bury the seed of this marvelous fruit so that it might grow and bloom. Perplexing isn't it? uncertainty is the petri-dish of discontent, the fungi of misery. Shall I push beyond this preponderance and say; tomorrow will be a day unlike the one before it. A gift that shall not remain packaged, tossed in the corner of a dark closet, gathering dust...dare I be so bold as to profess, I this simpleton, who knows too well the mundane, shall venture out into exploration and feast on the secrets of life, the subtle fruit of living. I, mother, wife, woman, shall bloom like no flower before me, shall grab these days of life that remain and breathe as though every breath counted for something greater. Dance as though I ruled the stage, live as though life depended on it...for indeed, life is nothing if not for the pleasure of living.

Deo Volente
August 24, 2010

The quiet storm

Two days of short, heavy, bursts of rain. I can honestly say this is the first time I have ever seen the creek overflow. As I watched the water rise and rush I started to wonder, not about the possibility of flooding but rather about the power of nature. I was pulled in by the sound and the sight of the creeks might and I smiled. If I were a daring woman, I would have stepped in just to see where it would take me, just to feel the power of this creek that for years was calm. I am much like the creek I believe, I have what it takes to power through the pathways of life, to break over the walls that confine me, to rush past the boulders in my way... if only, when the storms of life find me.

DV
August 19, 2010.

If

if only...
I could touch the stars
to take each one into my arms
I'd drown inside their glow
I love them don't you know

if only
I could reach the moon
beyond the strength of earthy pull
to glide from tip to tip
upon the moon I'd skip

if only
I could touch the sky
each cloud no more than inches by
I'd drift off in the blue
and bid sweet Earth adieu

if only
I could bravely scale
each mountain side and never fail
I'd stand upon each summit
just proud that I had done it

if only
I could sail the seas
from shore to shore with stroke of ease
each wave another guide
upon its strength I'd glide

if only
I could know this Earth
before its wonder knows my girth
then if would simply be...
the cast that makes the key
that sets this spirit free.

Deo Volente
July 18, 2010

Age

Somewhere inside a young girl hides
not quite a sweet sixteen,
full of life, of hopes, of dreams.
Ready to take on the world,
a stubborn, feisty, naive girl.
Thirsty for adventure,
refusing to surrender.
As time goes by she finds more rage,
while I sit back and slowly age.
Sweet girl much you don't know
but I wont let you go.
You are the blue within my fire,
your spark, no question I desire.
The vibrance of your light,
gives me the strength to fight
and though your road I do not envy,
you fill this aging heart a plenty.
Sweet girl that I adore
so spread thy wings and soar...
O youth within my core.

Deo Volente
July 17, 2010

Lost...

Another day wasted
another day lost
a price to be paid at dearest cost
dreams unfulfilled
hopes gone away
another chance not taken
is all I can say

Another path ventured
a future unknown
a heart whispers softly
beyond flesh and bone

One breath slowly taken
two eyes open wide
as minutes turn to hours
more wishes set aside

if not for the challenge
if not for the pain
if not for the doubts
that come with the rain
if not for the reasons
that find their way through
to poison the magic of all one could do

another day wasted
another day lost...
tis only on the final chime
will life reveal the cost.

Deo Volente
July 12, 2010

When...

I asked a very good friend of mine the other day “ when is it time to say when?” to which he responded... “if you have to ask, it’s now” Needless to say I snickered for a moment but then realized that there was great wisdom in that seemingly simple response. I will readily admit that no two persons will have the same “now” but indeed there comes a time when “when” becomes “now” and one has to let go of what holds them back. It is my belief that when we choose to hold on to what hurts us, bends or breaks us we stand a chance of destroying ourselves. Letting go comes in many forms and though we often believe it to be the letting go of anger or emotions of such sort it can also come in the form of the physical. By that I mean “people” some people can be so bad for our souls and ourselves that we could do no greater thing than to let them go, it amounts to self-preservation. Do not misunderstand that to be holding a grudge or harboring ill-will it is simply what it is. Still such decisions do not come to us lightly and those who may think they do may want to rethink that...after all; letting go of anything or anyone no matter the circumstance is never easy to do but sometimes it simply has to be done.

Deo Volente
May 26, 2009