2010...

Be safe
be happy
be true
Happy New Year
to you.

Deo Volente

Christmas 09

Another year has passed us by
in swirl of wind and sparkly sky
As Christmas rings each bell
our hearts a thankful swell
How blessed we've been to share each chime
each turn upon the hands of time
with those we treasure true...
there simply is no better gift than you.

Deo Volente
December 14, 2009

I was moved.

I was sent this video by a friend "knock Knock by Michael Reed James" I can honestly say it moved me, if you have never heard it, believe me, it is well worth the Google.

"this is how I felt after"

I listened and my heart heard
I was filled with your passion in every word
I listened as your heart spoke...
and my heart broke
moved by every line
your story was yours and mine
I listened and I heard you loud and clear
I heard you knock knocking out there.

Deo Volente
December 20th 2009

Silent grip

When everything’s out of control,
there’s one thing silent grips will hold
In shadows only God can see
in crystals of the secrets be
From simple slip to oversight
the evil that comes with the night
and sometimes with the day
from heart to lips they pray...
Let not what is, come morrow know
what makeup cloaks and clothes won’t show
Let hands that fall like lead and stone
befall a fate from you alone
for vengeance God is thine
as sure as pain is time...
Each tick upon this clock of same
that chimes as heart does scream your name
What walls hide Lord you know...
release what clenches so.

Deo Volente
December 7, 2009

Gift giving

I sat in the stillness tonight and found my thoughts dancing about me like the swirl of the wind, memories flooding about in my mind and I suddenly found myself wondering. I love Christmas, much like a child craves the taste of candy. The smell, the flicker of lights, the marvel of its true meaning...I have never been one to wish for gifts, I much rather sitting back and watching the sparkling eyes of someone recieving a gift from me. As a child I relished the thought of giving the perfect gift. I still feel that way, so much so that I worry about finding the perfect gift. But what is the perfect gift? every person is different, every wish varies and thus the root of my dismay. It was in the midst of this pondering, that I recalled a gift I had recieved as a small child. It was not Christmas, my birthday or any day that was deemed worthy of celebration. It was actualy the day before my friend moved away. We lived across the street from each other and he was my confidant, my playmate, my first friend. I was 5 and he was 6. All I remember is his making his way across the street with a stuffed toy twice his size and presenting it to me as a going away present. That stuffed toy was no substitute for my friend but it brought me comfort many times over the years. Truth is I never wanted a stuffed toy, I didn't ask for one and I would have prefered having my friend across the street but I never forgot the image of the jesture and thus this unexpected stuffed toy became my perfect gift...could it be that it truly is the thought that counts.

Deo Volente
November 22, 2009

Enough

I had a normal day and then came the night. I never thought I would be here again but here I am and dear I say enough! lifes actuality is no more than a reflection of choices, stumbles, steps and strides and the image I see is bleek at best. So I will say with conviction and determination. "No matter where the wind does blow, no matter how the tides may throw, no matter what the challenges ahead, I will grab this life and live before I'm dead! for tomorrow is no guarantee and now is all I have you see, so why not do the best that I can do, tis only then to myself I'll be true."

Deo Volente
November 18, 2009

Dear Friend

I want to say I understand
believe me how I do
to reach across this wide divide
inside the web where you reside
and hold on to your hand
because I understand
I know too well the sting of doubt
the shadows that dwell in and out
when dark surrounds the light
like shadows of the night
I want to simply share a smile
to let you know that on this mile
the road may curve or bend
but soon this dark will end
God keeps you in his arms so tight
he'll shelter you throughout this night
his stars shall guide your way
so friend please don't dismay...
have faith, you'll be ok.

Deo Volente
November 7th, 2009

Halloween

Through my neighborhood I go
Down each driveway ever so
Only houses with a light
Shining on their porches bright

Meeting up with all my friends
hope the fun it never ends
Some are dressed up like a fairy
Others like a monster scary!

Parents not too far behind
All the neighbors are so kind
Bowls of candy filled with treats
Some are bitter, others sweet

Got a toothbrush over here
Haunted house right over there
Little ghosts in spooky trees
What happens I can’t wait to see

Laughing mat where I should stand
Hairy slimy monster hand
Spider webs are everywhere
I’m not an easy child to scare

Jack o lantern faces glowing
Flickers cause the wind is blowing
Grave stones where they weren’t before
Maybe I’ll go pass that door

well it is that time again
Halloween comes to an end
and once it’s all been checked by mother
I’ll Trade some candy with my brother.


Deo Volente
October 29, 2007

Conflict...

Have you ever taken a look at yourself and wondered what to do next? Knowing what weighs on your heart and knowing what is on your mind and certain of one thing “never shall the twain meet” So what do you do? Follow the heart that guides with raw and doubting emotion or the head filled with practical, matter a fact reasons?...alas I am in limbo. Unsure of the next step, unsure of the fallout, simply and complicatedly unsure...

Deo Volente
October 29, 2009

I woke up cranky

Today started much like the last few days, cold! I wondered where fall went... I missed the leaves changing, the beauty of the season and as such I was cranky. It didn't help to see the weather man all smiles saying "today is going to be a lovely day..." it's barely 30 degrees I thought, who spiked your coffee! As I mustered up the courage to leave the little warmth of my bed it dawned on me "I was cranky" that was the tone of my thoughts, my heart and as such would be the tone of my day...if I let it. So I decided to take the seemingly delusional perspective of the wether man and smiled...tell you a secret, it worked, today has been a beautiful day!

Deo Volente
October 20, 2009

Check...

Every freindship will be tested, the question is; how much has one invested. If one should determine the moves much like the game of chess should one castle in an effort to defend what remains or leave their king open for check mate? That is what I ponder today and I suppose as the night draws near I may find my thoughts to be trivial but still the chance remains I may not and until the moment of clarity beyond reasons breaks through this whirl of emotion I shall simply contemplate and what shall be, will be. Afterall life is a game of unpredictable moves and counter moves and only God knows the result of it all.

Deo Volente
October 15, 2009

Question

Why?....or better still....why not?....

Brown Eyes

Through those eyes so beautiful and wide
I see you
Standing yet shaken
From thought not awaken
Full of dreams yet void of hope
Alive yet not living
Daring yet afraid
Woe those choices you have made

Anger keeps you in his grip
This poison you so freely sip
Choking your youth
Your warmth, your grace
Break free and let me in
This tyrant must not win

Use those eyes so vibrant and wise
To see and you’ll be surprised
The faces that will come to view
All of them with tears for you
Moved by your plight
Ready to help you fight

Open your eyes beyond the now
And you will see just when and how
You will rise above this day
Just choose another way
Share this burden that you bear
Let me in, I truly care

Too smart to see this road as wise
Too smart to listen to his lies
Too smart not to lift your head up

Dream big and work for every drop
Live your gifted life by sewing fruitful crop
To be Gods own son
To change the course you’re on
To rise, you’re too smart not to be wise

Use those beautiful brown eyes and you will see me
Hear and believe me
I wish you victory in battle
To be so true you won’t unravel
For love to overflow your every being
Let me in so I can see what you are seeing

I can help you through your pain
Through this never ending rain
To see the rainbow that God made, just for you
Unlock there retched gates and let me through

So I can wipe away those tears
Help with the burden of your years
Find a way to heal so you may grow
I’ll always be here for you, hope you know

Deo Volente
February 18, 2009

Time

I don't want to turn back time
what is lost cannot be mine
not the whisper nor the sigh
nor the laughter or the cry
be it chance or be it fate
it is not mine to debate
time will only move in one direction
I simply choose to treasure each connection
all the lessons I will learn
every gift within each turn
the moments that are worthy of recall
I treasure every moment big and small
lifes lessons and lifes blessings one and all

Deo Volente
September 20, 2009

I can relate...

" The question that sometimes drives me hazy, am I or the others crazy"
Sir. Albert Einstein

9-11-09

Today I shall reflect
Today I shall rejoice
I will hold each life in glory
and recall each blessed voice
I will lift them up in splendor
and to love I shall surrender
I will drown out all the hate
though it rose it shalln't dictate
For I know deep in this heart without debate...
God was there to greet each soul at heavens gate.

Deo Volente
September 11, 2009

Admiration...

I sometimes wonder with lingering doubt
What this true self is really about
I like what I like come what may
It’s seems I’m just carved out that way

My emotions are stronger than I can express
And often I’m certain I should have said less
For words can be misunderstood
As well it seems at times they should

I wear these emotions so well on my sleeves
An act that so many could never conceive
Yet this is the fragment of me
So what has to be then will be

I ask with all kindness don’t misunderstand
If through my emotions I reach out a hand
To smile at you by way of words
Apply this to what you have heard...

I admire the talents that God did bestow
Along with the virtues by which they will grow
Each one with its blessed small voice
Reminding my heart to rejoice...
If you hear more than that, it’s your choice.

Deo Volente
September 7, 2009

something to think about

I was up late the other night as I often am and decided to turn on the TV after all I was awake and haunted so why not rot my brain cells a bit. Flipping through channels I came upon reruns of a show I find interesting so I watched. It happened to be an episode I had never seen before so that at least made it worthwhile. At the end, as is always the case, one of the main characters recited a quote. Normally I’d hear the quote, think “interesting” then move on but this quote was different. For some reason it resonated with me but I didn’t hear who the character was quoting. Days passed and the need to know simply grew so I decided to search the internet and as though it were destined to be, I found it in the first link on my first try. If you have ever searched the internet for anything you know how unlikely that is. So here it is, the quote that hit home and the name of the man wise enough to have said it...

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars." Khalil Gibran

Deo Volente
September 5, 2009

This I am

I have never been one for material things
I prefer the simple joys in life.
I am a huge fan of the sky
and the marvel of the Earth.
I am the kind of person
who walks along the shoreline
entranced by the blue of the water
the vastness of the sky
the sparkle of the sand
and the shape of every shell...
I am simple.
I suppose that makes me strange
but he who understands my simplicity
knows how beautiful this life can truly be.

Deo Volente
September 03, 2009

This little light

This tiny light
that comes this night
and flickers slightly so
Will try to shine
its flame upon
the darkness tis below
Through swing and sway
amidst the push
and pull of steady breeze
It seems to wither
deep within
the darkness that it sees
but slowly
as the waxing tears
begin to well atop
It rises so
with all its heart
determined not to stop
To fill the air
with all that is
undoubtedly its own
To stand within
this darkened night
still small but not alone
For firmly molded
in its frame
stands tall a mighty core
Which knows that what the night snuffs out...
the dawn will soon restore.


Deo Volente
August 23, 2009

Crystal Morning

I saw you today
Just radiating beauty
I knew it was my duty
To capture you that way
My eyes beheld magnificence today

I saw you this morning
As the sunlight came calling
My heart simply falling
Deeper and deeper it’s true
I awoke just to fall in love with you
God’s glory in the gift of morning dew.

Deo Volente
August 19, 2009

Ode to the Moon

As darkness blocks your shining light
Your newness in the still of night
You’ll peek out at me soon
Till then oh precious moon

A glisten to my hearts delight
Has peered out at this soul tonight
A waxing crescent blue
I dance within your hue

In luminous first quarter glow
As darkness fades I watch you grow
To waxing gibbous bright
A captivating sight

Now full as ever you can be
This lunar marvel that I see
My longing is complete
This moment bitter sweet

For darkness comes again so swift
To cast upon your precious gift
A waning gibbous creep
Your glow a destined sleep

Last quarter has you half the way
My heart a feeble cry of nay
I know it shall be soon
Till waning crescent tune

One final wink of lunar sight
Before you rest your shining light
Inside the nights cocoon
A new to peek out soon...
till light, sweet precious moon.

Deo Volente
July 13, 2009

I shall not...

I will not cry these tears of heart
for though we are now worlds apart
You illuminate the sky
So no, I will not cry.

You’ve found a place to spread your wings
and though I ache the heaven sings
For my loss is its gain
and its joy is my pain

You’re now atop that crescent moon
where God has set aside your room
Your heart, your soul divine
eternally you shine

Yes though I have to say goodbye
no matter how these eyes may try
I shall not weep, I shall not cry
for blessings know no lie
and Angels never die.

Deo Volente
July 7, 2009

Wishes

Happy fourth of July everyone.

Deo Volente
July 4, 2009

"Great quotes from great leaders"

Our words and deeds must be synchronized, must be in harmony. What we say to others and ourselves must be exemplified in our actions if we wish to be true to the Universe.

1. "Well done is better than well said."Benjamin Franklin(1706-1790)
2. "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on."Winston Churchill(1874-1965)
3. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."Mother Teresa(1910-1997)
4. "Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth."George Washington(1732-1799)
5. "The time is always right to do what is right."Martin Luther King, Jr.(1929-1968)
6. "All the adversity I've had in my life, has strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."Walt Disney(1901-1966)
7. "Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."Abraham Lincoln(1809-1865)
8. "The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."Vince Lombardi(1913-1970)
9. "It is better to light the candle than to curse the darkness."Eleanor Roosevelt(1884-1962)
10. "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."Dwight Eisenhower(1890-1969)
11. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."Nelson Mandela(1918 - )
12. "We must become the change we wish to see in the world."Mahatma Gandhi(1869-1948)
13. "The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen, not touched, but are felt in the heart."Helen Keller(1880-1968)
14. "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."Henry Ford(1863-1947)
15. "Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music."Ronald Reagan(1911-2004)

Firefly

I saw a firefly the other day land ever so still on the antenna of our truck and stayed there, as though mesmerized by something only it understood. Well needless to say it was such a beautiful sight I rushed in for my camera hoping with every step that it would not fly away before I had a chance to capture it and as luck would have it, it was still perched upon this antenna when I returned. I moved into position as carefully as I could and snapped my first photo, no good, the background of sky was too bright, I tried again, still no good...this time the angle was off. To my dread the firefly who had sat still for 2 photos flew away, my luck had run out but then just as quickly as it departed it returned and took its position back on the antenna. Fearing it may flee again I knew it was now or never, I focused and moved about till the image I saw was as perfect as the moment felt and I snapped my final photo. Yes! I quietly celebrated, I took the photo I wanted, just the way I wanted, I whispered a thank you to the firefly who was still perched in position and went and put my camera away. It wasn’t until after I uploaded my photo and took a closer look at it that it struck me, the antenna looks very similar to the firefly which made me wonder; Could it be that this little firefly chose to rest upon my antenna not for want of a breather but rather in search of a friend, a familiar and despite the cold, hard surface that was so obvious to me this firefly saw a characteristic similar to its own and chose not to see the rest... I suppose we could all take a lesson from the firefly on my antenna, I know there are times I certainly could.

Deo Volente
June 29, 2009

Legend...

My words can do no justice
for I’ve lost them to dismay
The moment that reality
would shatter through my day
The silence of a splendid voice
from 5 to 50 strong
That reached into this heart of mine
through notes from every song
I sit within the silence
as I hear them all replay
Unable to believe
that it has ended quite this way
My choice is not to linger
in the shadows of the dark
But rather to remember
all the ways you lit that spark
The music you created
The way your talent grew
The passion wrapped in every word
and how your soul shone through
There’s one thing that I really know is true...
no one will ever do it quite like you.

Deo Volente
June 25, 2009

wishes of peace

RIP Mr. Michael Jackson and Miss Farrah Fawcett

Roads

Seek within the stillness,
that which does not seem quite great
For only by the test of time,
you'll find its destined state.
Know that in the silence,
there is much that will be said...
as the moment comes to pave the path
that leads from heart to head.
Search beyond illusion,
for not every spark is gold.
Understand that there are treasures,
far too precious to be sold.
Push beyond your limits,
to the things you cannot see.
For the journey in the distance
is what paves the road to be.
Let go of what hinders,
and impedes you in your years.
For your certainly much stronger,
than your worries and your fears.
Unravel all the doubting,
every if and should have been.
They are parasites that linger,
just to break you from within.
Seek the truth, with open heart
and eyes so you will know...
what will come by way of lessons learned,
are means by which to grow.

Deo Volente
may 12, 2009

Note

Happy Fathers day to all the real fathers out there; you are a precious commodity.

Deo Volente
June 21, 2009

I believe...

No matter how many weeds are in the garden, there's always room for flowers.

Deo Volente
June 13, 2009

Pray

No matter if I walk or run,
through heavy rain or pelting sun.
If in the seconds to bestow,
I'll wither or if I shall grow,
to face each path to be,
be shackled or be free.
I'll lift my eyes up to the sky,
no matter if I laugh or cry,
to seek you through your son...
and pray thy will be done.

Deo Volente
June 8th 2009

When...

I asked a very good friend of mine the other day “ when is it time to say when?” to which he responded... “if you have to ask, it’s now” Needless to say I snickered for a moment but then realized that there was great wisdom in that seemingly simple response. I will readily admit that no two persons will have the same “now” but indeed there comes a time when “when” becomes “now” and one has to let go of what holds them back. It is my belief that when we choose to hold on to what hurts us, bends or breaks us we stand a chance of destroying ourselves. Letting go comes in many forms and though we often believe it to be the letting go of anger or emotions of such sort it can also come in the form of the physical. By that I mean “people” some people can be so bad for our souls and ourselves that we could do no greater thing than to let them go, it amounts to self-preservation. Do not misunderstand that to be holding a grudge or harboring ill-will it is simply what it is. Still such decisions do not come to us lightly and those who may think they do may want to rethink that...after all; letting go of anything or anyone no matter the circumstance is never easy to do but sometimes it simply has to be done.

Deo Volente
May 26, 2009

Deny

Deny me all the sweets of craving
Of the anger that comes raging
Frustrations of the moments lost to time
Deny me all the things that are not mine

Deny me what will break me
Those who love me and forsake me
The things that shine about me with no soul
Deny me that which does not make me whole

Deny me mirrors of illusions
Of deception and delusions
Those who will find pleasure as I grieve
Deny me those who choose not to believe

Deny me blindness of the greedy
Of the things that merely feed me
Of doubting that will hinder every try
Deny me all the things that are a lie

Deny me ways of hate and envy
Those who wish to break or bend me
Hands that wish to lead my soul astray
Deny me what will take my gifts away

Deny me ignorance and excess
That which blinds me to my true best
Everything intended to mislead
Deny me all the things I do not need
So that this self may flourish as I breathe.

Deo Volente
May 22, 2009

Shell

Take me in your hand
from the sparkle of this sand.
Bring me closely to your ears so you will hear
all the things within me I must share.
You will know the oceans cry
for the waves that have gone by,
as I nestle every echo in your soul
all of what’s inside me must be told

Every whisper to your core,
from this shell upon life’s shore.
A breath of sweet surrender to your heart,
then you will know it’s time for us to part.
Now you’ve heard my every tale
so I pray, set me a sail,
for our parting in this moment must be swift...
I’m destined for to ride the currents drift,
To find another ear that needs my gift.

Deo Volente
May 22, 2009

Uncle

If I could make it so it’s true
then this would be my gift to you.
Each drop of love you did bestow
I’d make it so that you would know.
Ten thousand times then once again
to fill your heart and never end.
For all the laughter that you’ve shared
the different ways you’ve shown you cared.
I’d send them all right back to you
to bless your days in all you do
and for each memory you have made
I’d make it so they’d never fade.
Then maybe through your eyes you’d see
No matter what in life may be...
You’ll always mean the world to me.

Deo Volente
May 21, 2009

Child

Oh little child so small and new
this world must seem so big to you.
With fresh new eyes you look about
for all the secrets in and out...
Why birds have wings to roam the sky
Or why the clouds they dance on by.
You are a seed that’s meant to grow
from all the wonders you will know.
Your leaves and branches they will be
the layers that will set you free.
So nourish them with roots of truth
and grow in strength throughout your youth
To make your tree stand tall and wise...
you precious babe with brand-new eyes.

Deo Volente
May 20, 2009

So...

Today caught me not here nor there
surprised at what I saw,
the glory of the sky left me in awe.
I felt as though I was asleep,
my heart convinced it had to weep.
It washed my face with tears I thought were dry,
I like the clouds above me had to cry.
Not from my sorrow nor my pain
but simply for my need of rain...
to quench the thirst of that which has to grow,
sometimes my friend, it simply is just so.

Deo Volente
May 14, 2009

Truth (thinking out loud)

What does life amount to? The reality of the minutes of our lives is revealed to us only in the passing of the hours. The more they mount the more we see but by then is it simply too late? After all we have no means to turn the hands back and if we did would we be fated by lack of knowledge to repeat that which we have done? I would like to believe that we are as wise as the truth we face, if we choose to face it. Truth comes in our passing hours from the reality of our lost minutes and if we open our eyes to it we will see everything. All our triumphs, our short comings and everything in between. What we do with that realization depends entirely on us.

Deo Volente
May 11, 2009

Mothers

To all the mothers who love, nurture and embrace their children just as they are, I salute you. To all the mothers who are not perfect but do the best they can for their children, I salute you. To all the mothers who understand that motherhood has no science, no magic wand, no special trick, that all children are indeed different and sometimes the best thing you can do is pray, to you I say...welcome to motherhood.

Deo Volente
May 10, 2009

Knowing

If I could sit with the creator,
I wouldn’t ask a thing.
I’d let his warmth consume me whole
and all his grace shine in.
I’d soak in all the love he gives
and know inside his heart I live.
Yes that would be my goal,
to radiate this soul.
I’d never ask him to unearth,
the secrets of this well made earth,
or why men love or hate,
or what will be my fate.
I’d never question birds or bees
or ponder of the sky or trees.
The mountains or their fire,
of passion or desire.
For though he made me as his own,
this image of his...
flesh and bone.
There’s one truth that I see
equal we shall not be...
he’s God and I am me.

Deo Volente
May 1st 2009

Willows

I heard the willows moan...
this heart is not our own.
Love came on wind one starry night,
and by the twinkle of their light.
It stole this heart away,
before the break of day.
Our efforts were a futile try,
for in its might we shan’t deny,
a pebble to a tower...
unbridled was its power.
So now in every whisper sigh,
the echoes of our longing cry.
We beckon to the moon...
that love will come back soon.

Deo Volente
April 22, 2009

This...

Where the sun kisses the earth with rays that shine as though to say; come here, come here, there my heart was born. Where light is transformed into hues that only flowers can create, colors of the rainbow, there my soul was created. Where the fertile soil lives only to feed life, sweet and nourishing, there my spirit grew. Where the breeze is the messenger of a daydreamer’s wish, on wings and clouds, there my hopes came to be. Where bliss is the waltz of the sea and the shore, footprints in the sand, there I chose to see. Where all my senses lit a blaze this burning to live and not just exist, truth is the morning’s first kiss; Tis there that gave birth to this.

Deo Volente
April 22, 2009

Clouds

How graceful is this dance of clouds,
that glides across the sky,
within the winds soft cry.
That calls out in its grace my name,
to lift my spirit once again,
while tugging on this yearn,
to risk the suns great burn.
If only for a little while,
I’d travel every fleeting mile,
to take part in its dance,
I’d seize upon that chance.
Then unveil every hidden truth,
that feeds this passions greatest root,
and never choose to part, for in it lies my heart.

Deo Volente
April 20, 2009

Sun...

I’d love you still without the winds great nudge
to push me through, each window blue
holding every truth that calls my heart
I’d love you as I’ve loved you from the start

I’d love you even if your lips would choose
each word to loose, never to move
your voice a silent drift into my soul
I’d love you in the moments left untold

I’d love you through the deserts and the fields
for what I feel, is truly real
a spark that lit a blaze within my core
I’d love you as the seas caress the shore

I’d love you when the glass runs out of sand
Without command, so here I stand,
this heart in hand...
waiting for the warmth of every ray,
I’ll love you Sun, forever and a day.

Deo Volente
April 13, 2009

Virtues

If you choose to see the wind then you’ll have faith
If forgiveness is your virtue you are great
If you love with all your heart then you’re sincere
If you speak truth with compassion you are rare
If you’re true to who you are then you are wise
If you seek to grow you have to use your eyes
If you’re humble then you’ll see that you are blessed
If you laugh with all your heart you’ll find your zest.


Deo Volente
April 7, 2009

I believe...

At the core of my genius is the root of my insanity.

Deo Volente
April 6th 2009

From the Sun...

It seems the day does come too soon
we stand with bated breath attune
This masterpiece, one lonely sky
In moments of a long goodbye
where clouds of rust and clouds of white
Are distant journeys from the night
Into a day not meant to share
So far apart and yet so near
our paths may cross but never meet
this journey quite so bitter sweet
from whispers that we seem to cast
on flame of hope to burn long last
from blazing set to glory rise
one sparkle deep inside our eyes
across the vastness reaching out
in silence where our secrets shout
longing for what shall not be
awaiting what will set us free
from patience that bestows delight
a day as dark as darkest night
embracing in one true eclipse
A kiss to grace these longing lips.


Deo Volente
April 3, 2009

Signs

Is it I in the silence that speaks to my heart
doubts without mercy that tear me apart.
I ponder the truth that I see,
then wonder out loud, is it me.
From all of the shadows that blaze in this sun,
beside me no matter how fast I might run.
I’m caught in a web of deceit,
seeking the path of retreat.
To find my true shelter to weather this storm,
that holds me, protects me, ensures that I’m warm.
I grope in the dark to be free,
and question again, is it me.
Amidst every whisper once carved in the sand,
I search their illusion so that I might stand.
Embracing my innermost light,
burning by day and by night.
Yet deep in the silence these thoughts are my screams,
a marvelous wonder of madness it seems.
So foolish I cannot deny...
how pointless the question of why,
for all the signs say...it is I.

Deo Volente
March 27, 2009

Rain drop

One of a million, among millions more,
comes falling to rest on my cheek.
Small and cold, I feel it...
touching me for reasons I can hardly explain...
because Life is a marvelous wonder,
because today is grey, unlike yesterday,
because it was meant to be,
because it found its way to me.
I choose not to let my mind quite my heart,
So I leave it where it lies.
letting the wind that gave it wings to find me,
take it once more to its eternity...
Its even colder,
but my heart is warmer for it.

Deo Volente
March 26, 2009

Words

To be moved by words
Lifted by lines
Drinking from passion
Sipping on thine
Every blessing bestowed
Letting go of the load
To wade in waters
Frolic in streams
Dance in fields
intoxicating dreams
Blow kisses of wishes
And catch then again
Washing in anguish
running in the rain
peeling the layers
letting it in
bathing in sunlight
hiding within
turning the pages anew
passionate embrace of true
To stand ever firmly
On life’s weary journey
Caught up inside the winds gusts...
To God be the glory a must.

Deo Volente
March 20, 2009

Just a thought

"Every today is yesterdays tomorrow and tomorrows yesterday..."

"Yesterday is made for memories that will linger in our hearts
While tomorrow for the future we intend right from the start
But today is just one moment if we make the choice to see...
We can treasure every second living life as it should be."

Deo Volente
March 19, 2009

Silent...

If in the silence that befalls
and through the darkness hunger calls
a spark inside so deep and new
awaiting so to see it through
in shallow steps of current wade
in whispers of a soul will fade
emotions fresh and new
the sweet sweet scent of dew.
There stands a single flame so still
alive against the force of will
fighting with each flicker
hoping to be thicker.
Full of fury as the night
burning through the blindest sight
paving roads that never were
inside the still small voice of her
then I could understand
inside the palm of hand
but this and there tis plain to see
was never meant and shall not be
no matter where the prayers fall
or desperately the words they call
answers will elude the sight
drifting in the darkest night
so here in shadows thee
what was and shall not be...
one silent spirit, free.

Deo Volente
March 19, 2009

Be still

Be still this heart that beats alone
Slowly turning into stone
Lost within the shade of tears
Weary in the eyes of years
Revealed to fail the measured line
Broken by the truth of time
Alone to weep so ever still
Ner or far of fated will
Cursed passion shows its face
Just in time to know disgrace
Never to be held in kind
Loneliness tis all will find
Foolish heart thou must be still
Wipe away those tears of ill
Solitude draws ever near
Quietly will disappear
Fated for this life alone
Hurry now, turn into stone.

Deo Volente
March 15, 2009

I read

I read to dream, to laugh, to explore
To loose myself and so much more
To climb the embankments of well written tales
to venture on edges of cliffs I must scale
to try and decipher another lost soul
To fill me with passion and make me feel whole
To learn and grown and simply delight
I read because frankly...it’s just out of sight :-)

Deo Volente
March 14, 2009

Always and Forever

Always and forever here is where I can be found
At the edge of this confusion firmly planted on the ground
In the swell of this emotion like a whale far out at sea
Always and forever here is where I’ll surely be

Where the shades of life will hold me just as tightly as can be
While I search in desperation for the sun to set me free
As the winds caress me softly just to soothe this ache so real
I will take a breath so filling that my heart will never feel

Always and forever in this state of silence heard
I will listen to the echoes of the secrets in each word
Touching the reflection in this steady flowing stream
trapped inside the current of this ever fleeting dream

I will find a place that keeps me but will gladly let me go
and I’ll venture in the stillness of what truly lies below
Overflowing with emotions of life’s peace and pain in swell
Always and forever in this place is where I’ll dwell.

Deo Volente
March 11, 2009

Yet another thought

Today is by far one of the most beautiful days I have been blessed with in recent days yet my heart is just a bit heavy. I have much cause to scream in celebration and just enough to weep in confusion. It seems to paraphrase “the more I know the less I understand” life indeed has played quite the trick on me today but that is after all what it is about isn’t it. With every blessing that we are so gracefully given we have choices to make, lessons to learn ways in which to grow and change in order to become who we are meant to be. Wouldn’t it be dull if we knew it all before we knew it...then we really wouldn’t need to know it at all, would we? So I suppose in that very strange realization of all things complex I will simply weep for my pain and rejoice in my Joy and thank God almighty for the blessing of life that makes it all possible.

Deo Volente
March 11, 2009

Reasons

Could it be that life has challenges for a reason?
That love and all the likes change by the seasons
That spring gives birth to life all fresh and true
While summer has its peace and troubles too
Yet fall delights with every change of color
And winter has a numbing sense of power

Is it true that with emotions things are skewed?
That subtle is a meager step from rude
Laughter is the sound within each frown
Praise can be reworded to put down
Love is merely words away from hate
and once exposed it simply is too late

Have you heard that pain comes from emotions hidden?
When heart gives in to mind without much reason
Listening to doubts in fated words
Actions that may sometimes seem absurd
All the little crass and callous thoughts
Inside the whispers said and never caught

Did you know that life’s a circle to be made?
And when the steps aren’t firm they simply fade
Leaving every lesson blurred and complicated
Though every action screams just what it stated
Fear that translates to hesitation
Filling minds with doubts for the duration

Lean closer and I’ll tell you how I feel
One small emotion raw and very real
I love with every fiber of this self
Yet safely tuck my core upon a shelf
For there're far too many layers one must peel
And that my friend is simply how I feel.

Deo Volente
March 5, 2009

Familiar road

Foolish is the lad that does...
all his life just as it was.
A tale of woe bound to rewrite
Repeating for his own delight
each error and each slight of tongue
each off key pitch so badly sung
Thinking that the tides would change
without the means to rearrange
One meager thing, one simple flaw,
still blinded by the things he saw
so sure in heart he should prevail
in travels of familiar trail
yet even though he’d wish it so
a different end he’d never know
for firm were all the steps he’d take
those carbon copies of mistakes
awaiting him at every turn
the lessons he would not discern
blinded by his every yearn...
this foolish lad just would not learn


Deo Volente
March 2, 2009

I will...

If I am true to myself
I will lead more than I follow
I will reach for the stars
both today and tomorrow
I will feed every fiber
of this being that I am
Through my thoughts,
through my virtues
and my thirst to understand...

If I am true to my wonder
I will seek a life that’s whole
I will grow from every moment
and I’ll hear the things I’m told
I will face every challenge
understanding that in truth
They are merely little branches
and I alone will plant the roots...

If I am true to my conscience
I will heed its every cry
I will live this life I’m given
long before I have to die
I will treasure every blessing
knowing they don’t have to be
I will love the way I aught to
and I’ll set my spirit free
I will dance to all the music
that transcends into this song
I will stand when I have fallen
and admit when I am wrong
I will dream outside of limits
so the sky is well in reach
I will always make a point to learn...
before I try to teach.


Deo Volente
February 27, 2009

Distance

Out in the distance
so hard to deny
In wonder of wishes
and vastness of sky
Drowning in softness
consumed by the night
Wrapped up in darkness
beseeching the light
Hoping the flames
of this time will burn true
and give spark to wishes
amazingly new
On tail of a comet
that rushes on by...
lost in the blue of the sky
So graceful these touches
like canvas and paint
The blessings bestowed us
by greatest of Saints
To capture in seconds
what turns into tears
To rise from soft whispers
and grow out of fears
As closer and closer it nears
this beacon of hope that appears
is sure to shed light on these years.

Deo Volente
February 26, 2009

I am who I am

With every single breath of living
and the choices just for giving...
a helping hand, some aid to stand
lousy advice, one glance not nice...
it may seem I’m imperfect just this way
well to that there is but one thing I can say...
Under flaws there lies my beauty
with my bluntness, ambiguity
yes it’s true, I know when to say when
and have no doubt, I’ll gladly say Amen!
Cause that’s simply who I am
And who knows if that’s the plan
But it’s safe to say I’m thankful just for being
and with any luck I’ll find that you’re agreeing

Deo Volente
February 24, 2009

Dismay

I want to say “get over it”
and yet I know better
life is like torrential weather
With thunder storms
and lightening strikes
with ups and downs
and all the likes
So please tread lightly, in its wake
and take heed of each found mistake
Then as you’re groping in the dark
Search, until you find a spark
Soon things will look brighter
and the load will get lighter
Who knows where the road will end
in days of old with thoughts of friends
or youthful smiles too soon to part
with broken spirit, broken heart
It may end up of dreams of bliss
on fleeting stars of goodnight kiss
destined for the Milky Way
long beyond each cloudy day
Amidst the mysteries up above
embracing everyone you love
Far beyond the shades of grey
So in its place, here’s what I’ll say...
“Get up, get on and pave your way.”

Deo Volente
February 22, 2009

See...

If you took a moment, just a single moment
and dared to look ,what would you see?
who knows, you might catch a glimpse of me.
The strength behind these eyes
that glisten with surprise
every time it peeks out at the day,
maybe you would see me just that way.
Every tear that’s washed this face
from a heart that can’t erase,
memories like mountain ranges wide,
everything this smile knows how to hide.
Every wrinkle of this self
tucked away upon a shelf
a girl that believed it to be true,
that life is so much more than me and you.
Its a crafted quilt of deeds,
stitched by hopes, and fears and dreams,
anticipations, heartaches and much more
everything each day would have in store,
Yes if you took a single moment
and by chance your eyes did see
this miracle of life that sets me free,
then yes oh yes, you’d catch a glimpse of me.

Deo Volente
February 16, 2009

Happy A thru Z days

Have you ever written something you knew you could not top? Well I did when I wrote “Volente’s Valentine” so instead of writing another Valentines Day poem I am going to post this poem again. I know it seems pessimistic but honestly it’s a realistic point of view. We spend so much time obsessing on one day there and one day here we tend to loose sight of all our days. The point of life is to live “everyday” to its fullest no matter what that day brings. So I wish you a happy Valentines Day and every day before and after.

Deo Volente
February 14, 2009
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s a day of flowers and roses
Adorned with ribbons and bows
Of teddy bears with fluffy ears
And crushes that nobody knows

A day for candy and cookies
fancy little cards that sing
red paper hearts with velvety parts
dangling from red velvet string

it’s a day for the romantic dreamer
to make a few wishes come true
a shiny surprise with tears in the eyes
the grandiose event made for two

A day of gifts so breath taking
splendors that money can buy
vacations on beaches with baskets of peaches
commercials that sell you a lie

It’s a day just like all the others
Ignore all the rest if you choose
For while you’re nitpicking your time goes on ticking
And you never get back what you loose


Deo Volente
February 13, 2008

Old friend

In a hurried pace to live a life
Blessed at every turn
Easy was the growing spark
That let old bridges burn
Days of when so long before
Were buried in the past
Now and then a little glance
Of things that did not last
Deja-vu that would recall
A face, a place and then
A smile that shone across the room
The face of one old friend.

DeoVolente
January 29, 2009

Winter

Winters’ fury sets her sights
then spread her hand with much delight
So flurries like the pouring rain
would rip from those of silver stain

Then mountain tops of fresh white snow
would peek down on what lay below
and though untouched by show of night
would not be so come morning light

Each tree would glisten in the morn
with vengeance of that winter storm
A blanket over grass of green
as far as eyes had ever seen

She told each lake and stream be still
while plants and flowers felt her chill
Her woes of soft sweet bitter sting
in every line she’d fiercely sing

With whistle in the wind she flew
determined so to see it through
but those who read between the lines
were wise enough to heed the signs

They battened down before she woke
and paid attention when she spoke
She pounded doors to no avail
commanding all would hear her tale

and though she made the history books
with every humble roof she took
She wrote a story greater still
by show of hands through mans good will
For neighbors took the highest road...
by helping others bear her load.

Deo Volente
February 2, 2009

I abhor

I abhor stupidity,
ignorance and such
Blinded arrogance
amidst fevered rush
The need to spread lies
by whispers and fable
Things that so many
seem perfectly able

I abhor prejudice,
separation and indifference
Faces that linger
behind walls of false pretence
Intolerance, deception
and things of such sort
Actions that blossom
from spineless cavort

For tis in this soil
of fertilized deeds
That hatred will sprout
from its well planted seeds
To grow like a fire
with flames to the wind
Spreading too quickly
for one to rescind
Burning down all that is true
No; these are the things I won’t do.
So tell me friend, how about you?


Deo Volente
February 2, 2009

A home

You had what you just did not see
Inside the little thoughts of thee
The greeting cards that were not sent
Between the lines and all they meant

To find a place in just one heart
A sparkle that set you apart
The slightest hope to pull you through
No matter what you tried to do

You searched in corners of your name
It filled you up with blinding shame
Defeated by those closer still
You barely had the strength of will

No place that you could call a home
You knew that you were all alone
Consumed by all that made you sad
You didn’t see all that you had

One heart that heard your silent tears
One heart that kept you through the years
One heart that held you as you roam
One friend that loved you as their own
So blinded you could not have known...
Inside one heart you had a home.

Deo Volente
January 26, 2009

Regret

Do you regret our time
So sweet sublime
Our innocence and stupidity
Defiance and rigidity
Our path of venture without gain
Long walks out in the pouring rain
Tears wept, secrets kept

Our days of work and nights of play
Things done in that old stubborn way
Lessons hard learned
Bridges we’ve burned

Struggles and our tribulation
Travels and our destinations
Decisions made with fury of the living
Sincerity, compassion and giving

One splinter of this house we’ve built
One patch inside this hard earned quilt
One word within the pages of this book
Then maybe you should take another look

For without the tears you forfeit laughter
Without the now there is no after
Without stumbles there is never room to rise
Without choices there’s no basis to be wise.
Yes there simply is no reason to revise...
For these moments are the living in our lives.

Deo Volente
January 25, 2009

Mistress

I had a conversation
with a lady small and fair
She had the brightest eyes
and such beautiful dark hair
A very pretty woman
I’m sure you would agree
Yet deep inside this woman
there was something I could see
With all her featured blessings
of picture perfect post
It seemed that she was lacking
the thing she needed most
Her self-esteem was broken
she was an empty shell
I saw all she was feeling
though she would never tell
She doubted all her beauty
and thought herself quite plain
And though she was quite polished
I caught sight of her pain
She thought herself unworthy
of love as well as life
She settled as his mistress
though she wished to be his wife.

Deo Volente
January 22, 2009

Inauguration

As I watch these flurries fall
from blanketed grey sky
and listen to the steady words
that usher softly by
I see the world so bright and new
reflected in these eyes
It’s simply taken on a view
that seems to touch the skies
With yesterday a footprint
on the path that was ahead
Carved out by the courage
of the many who have led
Today is but a paver
for the road is not complete
Yet there is no denying
that this time is bitter sweet
Inside a building built by slaves
a president is free
A moment for the history books
I thought I’d never see.

Deo Volente
January 20, 2009

Congratulations to the 44th president of the United States
Mr. Barack Obama.

History again

Did you see it when the Berlin wall came down
as freedom grumbled and hatred stumbled
Not many times throughout these years have found
my heart elated but I have waited
So patiently for this to come to pass
to see one nation, in celebration
We’ve made this step so firmly hand in hand
yes we are growing and how it’s showing
The strength to set our differences aside
and stand united, I’m so delighted.
Thank you to the ones who paved the way
for without them we would never have this day.

Deo Volente
January 19, 2009

Mama Lied

When Mama tucked us in she’d say
Tomorrow will be a better day
Hold on to those hopes, wishes and dreams
Mama lied because we heard her screams

She said hold firmly to your faith
For Sunday service don’t be late
Inside the house of God peace will be found
Mama lied they burned it to the ground

She said work hard in school each day
Cause what you learn will lead your way
Foundations that will stand the test of time
Mama lied our skin would be our crime

She said be good, sincere and kind
And through those pleasures we would find
Better doors would open for tomorrow
Mama lied we saw more prejudice and sorrow

She said believe with all your might
That dignity is worth the fight
To hold your head up high so you may see
It seems that Mama always lied to me

She told her children every night
That everything would work out right
And they could choose exactly what they’d be
I only wished that she were here to see
It turns out Mama never lied to me.


Deo Volente
January 19, 2009

Say When

Have you ever caught yourself saying “enough” struck by a moment of overwhelming frustration. That second you realize that you have no choice but to face the reality of something even though you would rather it not be so. I used to think of that as defeat, an excuse to accept failure. After all “as long as there is life...” well I have either become weary or wise. I now believe that there are things in life that I simply cannot and was never meant to change. As long as I am satisfied within myself that I gave it my best it is o.k. to let go. Failure is without effort, without sweat and tears, without trials without pain. To fail is not to try, to make excuses, to convince yourself that it is simply too hard to even make an effort. So I know that working as hard as I have to do this thing that has been so difficult for what amounts to my entire life! to date, cannot mean that I have failed. Even though I did not achieve what I had hoped for, some things cannot be changed. We cannot turn back time no matter how much we may try to. We can mend what is broken but we cannot un-break it. We can pray for something but if God does not wish it... No I did not fail. I truly did my best but I simply cannot get blood out of stone. It is time I let go and let God instead.

Deo Volente
January 18, 2009

Just a... lie

Have you ever told a lie?
With a sudden twist so sly
A slipping of the tongue
Revenge so fiercely flung
Contempt or mere revenge
A white one to pretend
sparing the feelings of another
Caught red handed by your mother

Did you ever look behind
As the lie that you had told
Began to reach beyond your lips
And frightfully unfold
A hurricane of category five
Leaving no one in its path alive
The rippling effect it has
Like dominoes that fall
Listen and you’ll hear the wreckage
Ripping down the wall
All for the need to get one by
Tell me have you ever told a lie?

Deo Volente
January 16, 2009

Yellow...

Yellow soft and sweet indeed
Lighting up my day
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
So glad you came to play
Sprinkled all throughout the green
To shine by day or night
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
You precious ray of light
Like verses of great poetry
You are life’s wonders bright
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
you sparkle with delight.

Deo Volente
January 15, 2009

My friend...

Why so grey my vibrant friend
Not long ago at wars dark end
You shone with such a brilliance of new
What I ponder has become of you

Your sparkle has but gone away
A hue that was no longer may
Hidden so these eyes do fail to see
Oh tell me friend what has become of thee

Pray tell me friend you do recall
A time once then that you stood tall
A canvas of great stories to be told
Long before your wonder would be sold

The bids of thoughtless pockets deep
An auction riddled with deceit
With gavel of the greedy to dictate
I hope my friend I’ve not arrived too late

Forgive me every fallen tear
That stupidly I did not hear
For long has this polluted air
Spread far and wide its dark despair
How blind it seems I’ve been to all your pain
Please tell me friend that you will shine again.

Deo Volente
January 13, 2009

Nights' eye

In the stillness there you are
piercing through me
as though you knew me
A glance is all it takes
to catch you looking
at me and through me
how well you woo me

Calling out my name
each shade enticing
yet so inviting
Inside the wind
the whispers of sweet nothing
my ears to hear
my heart right there

Like birds that simply know
they need to fly
don’t ask me why...
Each night as you embrace
the sun kissed sky
I won’t deny...
my soul is captivated by your eye.


Deo Volente
January 12, 2009

Thicker than water?

You’ve probably heard it said
That blood is thicker than water
But what does that really mean...

To the child of an affair
who was born of lust not love

To the baby abandoned on the street
Who was thought of as a burden
And never as a gift

To the child abused and broken
A punching bag for hatred and anger

The child of a user
Living in a man made hell
Unprotected and exposed

To the child born of a crime
A reminder of the unspoken
Punished for the actions of others

The child of divorce
A pawn in games played
Used for spite and revenge

Could it be that to them...
Blood is thick and ugly
A sign of pain
A dreadful stain...
On all that they could be
An anchor on hope
A slippery steep slope
A nightmare from which to break free.
And thin though water maybe
It cleanses the heart and the mind
A vessel of hope
A means for to cope
The peace every soul needs to find
A chance to be free from the pain
What’s needed to lift out the stain?

Deo Volente
January 8, 2009

I could dance

I could dance at this moment
under velvet clear blue skies
With the wind blowing softly in my hair
I could almost see myself just standing there

Surrounded by the beauty
of that natural blue and green
With little drops of yellow, pink and white
I’d close my eyes and let in all the light

With one deep breath I’d taste the air
embracing life without a care
Letting go and leaving it to chance
I tell you right this moment...
I could dance.

Deo Volente
January 6, 2009

Are you mine...

I happened to catch the tail end of a movie last night that really was a beautiful story about friendship, family and home. It inspired me to write the following poem, hope you enjoy it but more importantly, hope you understand it.


Are you mine
in the heart beats of a song
that echoes through the night so very long
In silence of the harmony unheard
woven neatly into every word

Are you mine
within the gusts of winds so strong
tossed about by waves of right and wrong
Crashing onto shores that can’t be seen
the edges of life’s wonders blue and green

Are you mine
inside the slender hour glass
that represents the years that come to pass
Slipping grain by grain so far away
lost but not forgotten is the day

Are you mine
as the fortunes start to turn
derailed by fleeting lessons yet to learn
With stumbles that appear before the fall
in the shadow of endeavours to stand tall

Are you mine
in the moment that it’s spoken
when the voice of true wisdom has awoken
As eyes become so open they must see
are you mine when all I have to give is me.

Deo Volente
January 4, 2009

fairytales

Why can’t there be fairytales
With butterflies on silver sails
From wishes in the shadows of the moon
Nestled in the hue of its festoon

Where unicorns run wild and free
And dreams are just what they should be
Vast, as the fields that trim the sky
On wings of an eternity to fly

where snowflakes fall from wishful stars
with fairy dust as red as mars
sprinkled in the winds that shape the clouds
Every little fantasy out loud

A tapestry to be displayed
On walls of houses firmly made
From cornerstones of stories old and new
Why can’t every fairytale come true?

Deo Volente
January 3, 2009