Gift giving

I sat in the stillness tonight and found my thoughts dancing about me like the swirl of the wind, memories flooding about in my mind and I suddenly found myself wondering. I love Christmas, much like a child craves the taste of candy. The smell, the flicker of lights, the marvel of its true meaning...I have never been one to wish for gifts, I much rather sitting back and watching the sparkling eyes of someone recieving a gift from me. As a child I relished the thought of giving the perfect gift. I still feel that way, so much so that I worry about finding the perfect gift. But what is the perfect gift? every person is different, every wish varies and thus the root of my dismay. It was in the midst of this pondering, that I recalled a gift I had recieved as a small child. It was not Christmas, my birthday or any day that was deemed worthy of celebration. It was actualy the day before my friend moved away. We lived across the street from each other and he was my confidant, my playmate, my first friend. I was 5 and he was 6. All I remember is his making his way across the street with a stuffed toy twice his size and presenting it to me as a going away present. That stuffed toy was no substitute for my friend but it brought me comfort many times over the years. Truth is I never wanted a stuffed toy, I didn't ask for one and I would have prefered having my friend across the street but I never forgot the image of the jesture and thus this unexpected stuffed toy became my perfect gift...could it be that it truly is the thought that counts.

Deo Volente
November 22, 2009

Enough

I had a normal day and then came the night. I never thought I would be here again but here I am and dear I say enough! lifes actuality is no more than a reflection of choices, stumbles, steps and strides and the image I see is bleek at best. So I will say with conviction and determination. "No matter where the wind does blow, no matter how the tides may throw, no matter what the challenges ahead, I will grab this life and live before I'm dead! for tomorrow is no guarantee and now is all I have you see, so why not do the best that I can do, tis only then to myself I'll be true."

Deo Volente
November 18, 2009

Dear Friend

I want to say I understand
believe me how I do
to reach across this wide divide
inside the web where you reside
and hold on to your hand
because I understand
I know too well the sting of doubt
the shadows that dwell in and out
when dark surrounds the light
like shadows of the night
I want to simply share a smile
to let you know that on this mile
the road may curve or bend
but soon this dark will end
God keeps you in his arms so tight
he'll shelter you throughout this night
his stars shall guide your way
so friend please don't dismay...
have faith, you'll be ok.

Deo Volente
November 7th, 2009

Halloween

Through my neighborhood I go
Down each driveway ever so
Only houses with a light
Shining on their porches bright

Meeting up with all my friends
hope the fun it never ends
Some are dressed up like a fairy
Others like a monster scary!

Parents not too far behind
All the neighbors are so kind
Bowls of candy filled with treats
Some are bitter, others sweet

Got a toothbrush over here
Haunted house right over there
Little ghosts in spooky trees
What happens I can’t wait to see

Laughing mat where I should stand
Hairy slimy monster hand
Spider webs are everywhere
I’m not an easy child to scare

Jack o lantern faces glowing
Flickers cause the wind is blowing
Grave stones where they weren’t before
Maybe I’ll go pass that door

well it is that time again
Halloween comes to an end
and once it’s all been checked by mother
I’ll Trade some candy with my brother.


Deo Volente
October 29, 2007

Conflict...

Have you ever taken a look at yourself and wondered what to do next? Knowing what weighs on your heart and knowing what is on your mind and certain of one thing “never shall the twain meet” So what do you do? Follow the heart that guides with raw and doubting emotion or the head filled with practical, matter a fact reasons?...alas I am in limbo. Unsure of the next step, unsure of the fallout, simply and complicatedly unsure...

Deo Volente
October 29, 2009

I woke up cranky

Today started much like the last few days, cold! I wondered where fall went... I missed the leaves changing, the beauty of the season and as such I was cranky. It didn't help to see the weather man all smiles saying "today is going to be a lovely day..." it's barely 30 degrees I thought, who spiked your coffee! As I mustered up the courage to leave the little warmth of my bed it dawned on me "I was cranky" that was the tone of my thoughts, my heart and as such would be the tone of my day...if I let it. So I decided to take the seemingly delusional perspective of the weather man and smiled...tell you a secret, it worked, today has been a beautiful day!

Deo Volente
October 20, 2009

Check...

Every freindship will be tested, the question is; how much has one invested. If one should determine the moves much like the game of chess should one castle in an effort to defend what remains or leave their king open for check mate? That is what I ponder today and I suppose as the night draws near I may find my thoughts to be trivial but still the chance remains I may not and until the moment of clarity beyond reasons breaks through this whirl of emotion I shall simply contemplate and what shall be, will be. Afterall life is a game of unpredictable moves and counter moves and only God knows the result of it all.

Deo Volente
October 15, 2009