Say When

Have you ever caught yourself saying “enough” struck by a moment of overwhelming frustration. That second you realize that you have no choice but to face the reality of something even though you would rather it not be so. I used to think of that as defeat, an excuse to accept failure. After all “as long as there is life...” well I have either become weary or wise. I now believe that there are things in life that I simply cannot and was never meant to change. As long as I am satisfied within myself that I gave it my best it is o.k. to let go. Failure is without effort, without sweat and tears, without trials without pain. To fail is not to try, to make excuses, to convince yourself that it is simply too hard to even make an effort. So I know that working as hard as I have to do this thing that has been so difficult for what amounts to my entire life! to date, cannot mean that I have failed. Even though I did not achieve what I had hoped for, some things cannot be changed. We cannot turn back time no matter how much we may try to. We can mend what is broken but we cannot un-break it. We can pray for something but if God does not wish it... No I did not fail. I truly did my best but I simply cannot get blood out of stone. It is time I let go and let God instead.

Deo Volente
January 18, 2009