A home

You had what you just did not see
Inside the little thoughts of thee
The greeting cards that were not sent
Between the lines and all they meant

To find a place in just one heart
A sparkle that set you apart
The slightest hope to pull you through
No matter what you tried to do

You searched in corners of your name
It filled you up with blinding shame
Defeated by those closer still
You barely had the strength of will

No place that you could call a home
You knew that you were all alone
Consumed by all that made you sad
You didn’t see all that you had

One heart that heard your silent tears
One heart that kept you through the years
One heart that held you as you roam
One friend that loved you as their own
So blinded you could not have known...
Inside one heart you had a home.

Deo Volente
January 26, 2009

Regret

Do you regret our time
So sweet sublime
Our innocence and stupidity
Defiance and rigidity
Our path of venture without gain
Long walks out in the pouring rain
Tears wept, secrets kept

Our days of work and nights of play
Things done in that old stubborn way
Lessons hard learned
Bridges we’ve burned

Struggles and our tribulation
Travels and our destinations
Decisions made with fury of the living
Sincerity, compassion and giving

One splinter of this house we’ve built
One patch inside this hard earned quilt
One word within the pages of this book
Then maybe you should take another look

For without the tears you forfeit laughter
Without the now there is no after
Without stumbles there is never room to rise
Without choices there’s no basis to be wise.
Yes there simply is no reason to revise...
For these moments are the living in our lives.

Deo Volente
January 25, 2009

Mistress

I had a conversation
with a lady small and fair
She had the brightest eyes
and such beautiful dark hair
A very pretty woman
I’m sure you would agree
Yet deep inside this woman
there was something I could see
With all her featured blessings
of picture perfect post
It seemed that she was lacking
the thing she needed most
Her self-esteem was broken
she was an empty shell
I saw all she was feeling
though she would never tell
She doubted all her beauty
and thought herself quite plain
And though she was quite polished
I caught sight of her pain
She thought herself unworthy
of love as well as life
She settled as his mistress
though she wished to be his wife.

Deo Volente
January 22, 2009

Inauguration

As I watch these flurries fall
from blanketed grey sky
and listen to the steady words
that usher softly by
I see the world so bright and new
reflected in these eyes
It’s simply taken on a view
that seems to touch the skies
With yesterday a footprint
on the path that was ahead
Carved out by the courage
of the many who have led
Today is but a paver
for the road is not complete
Yet there is no denying
that this time is bitter sweet
Inside a building built by slaves
a president is free
A moment for the history books
I thought I’d never see.

Deo Volente
January 20, 2009

Congratulations to the 44th president of the United States
Mr. Barack Obama.

History again

Did you see it when the Berlin wall came down
as freedom grumbled and hatred stumbled
Not many times throughout these years have found
my heart elated but I have waited
So patiently for this to come to pass
to see one nation, in celebration
We’ve made this step so firmly hand in hand
yes we are growing and how it’s showing
The strength to set our differences aside
and stand united, I’m so delighted.
Thank you to the ones who paved the way
for without them we would never have this day.

Deo Volente
January 19, 2009

Mama Lied

When Mama tucked us in she’d say
Tomorrow will be a better day
Hold on to those hopes, wishes and dreams
Mama lied because we heard her screams

She said hold firmly to your faith
For Sunday service don’t be late
Inside the house of God peace will be found
Mama lied they burned it to the ground

She said work hard in school each day
Cause what you learn will lead your way
Foundations that will stand the test of time
Mama lied our skin would be our crime

She said be good, sincere and kind
And through those pleasures we would find
Better doors would open for tomorrow
Mama lied we saw more prejudice and sorrow

She said believe with all your might
That dignity is worth the fight
To hold your head up high so you may see
It seems that Mama always lied to me

She told her children every night
That everything would work out right
And they could choose exactly what they’d be
I only wished that she were here to see
It turns out Mama never lied to me.


Deo Volente
January 19, 2009

Say When

Have you ever caught yourself saying “enough” struck by a moment of overwhelming frustration. That second you realize that you have no choice but to face the reality of something even though you would rather it not be so. I used to think of that as defeat, an excuse to accept failure. After all “as long as there is life...” well I have either become weary or wise. I now believe that there are things in life that I simply cannot and was never meant to change. As long as I am satisfied within myself that I gave it my best it is o.k. to let go. Failure is without effort, without sweat and tears, without trials without pain. To fail is not to try, to make excuses, to convince yourself that it is simply too hard to even make an effort. So I know that working as hard as I have to do this thing that has been so difficult for what amounts to my entire life! to date, cannot mean that I have failed. Even though I did not achieve what I had hoped for, some things cannot be changed. We cannot turn back time no matter how much we may try to. We can mend what is broken but we cannot un-break it. We can pray for something but if God does not wish it... No I did not fail. I truly did my best but I simply cannot get blood out of stone. It is time I let go and let God instead.

Deo Volente
January 18, 2009

Just a... lie

Have you ever told a lie?
With a sudden twist so sly
A slipping of the tongue
Revenge so fiercely flung
Contempt or mere revenge
A white one to pretend
sparing the feelings of another
Caught red handed by your mother

Did you ever look behind
As the lie that you had told
Began to reach beyond your lips
And frightfully unfold
A hurricane of category five
Leaving no one in its path alive
The rippling effect it has
Like dominoes that fall
Listen and you’ll hear the wreckage
Ripping down the wall
All for the need to get one by
Tell me have you ever told a lie?

Deo Volente
January 16, 2009

Yellow...

Yellow soft and sweet indeed
Lighting up my day
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
So glad you came to play
Sprinkled all throughout the green
To shine by day or night
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
You precious ray of light
Like verses of great poetry
You are life’s wonders bright
Yellow soft and sweet indeed
you sparkle with delight.

Deo Volente
January 15, 2009

My friend...

Why so grey my vibrant friend
Not long ago at wars dark end
You shone with such a brilliance of new
What I ponder has become of you

Your sparkle has but gone away
A hue that was no longer may
Hidden so these eyes do fail to see
Oh tell me friend what has become of thee

Pray tell me friend you do recall
A time once then that you stood tall
A canvas of great stories to be told
Long before your wonder would be sold

The bids of thoughtless pockets deep
An auction riddled with deceit
With gavel of the greedy to dictate
I hope my friend I’ve not arrived too late

Forgive me every fallen tear
That stupidly I did not hear
For long has this polluted air
Spread far and wide its dark despair
How blind it seems I’ve been to all your pain
Please tell me friend that you will shine again.

Deo Volente
January 13, 2009

Nights' eye

In the stillness there you are
piercing through me
as though you knew me
A glance is all it takes
to catch you looking
at me and through me
how well you woo me

Calling out my name
each shade enticing
yet so inviting
Inside the wind
the whispers of sweet nothing
my ears to hear
my heart right there

Like birds that simply know
they need to fly
don’t ask me why...
Each night as you embrace
the sun kissed sky
I won’t deny...
my soul is captivated by your eye.


Deo Volente
January 12, 2009

Thicker than water?

You’ve probably heard it said
That blood is thicker than water
But what does that really mean...

To the child of an affair
who was born of lust not love

To the baby abandoned on the street
Who was thought of as a burden
And never as a gift

To the child abused and broken
A punching bag for hatred and anger

The child of a user
Living in a man made hell
Unprotected and exposed

To the child born of a crime
A reminder of the unspoken
Punished for the actions of others

The child of divorce
A pawn in games played
Used for spite and revenge

Could it be that to them...
Blood is thick and ugly
A sign of pain
A dreadful stain...
On all that they could be
An anchor on hope
A slippery steep slope
A nightmare from which to break free.
And thin though water maybe
It cleanses the heart and the mind
A vessel of hope
A means for to cope
The peace every soul needs to find
A chance to be free from the pain
What’s needed to lift out the stain?

Deo Volente
January 8, 2009

I could dance

I could dance at this moment
under velvet clear blue skies
With the wind blowing softly in my hair
I could almost see myself just standing there

Surrounded by the beauty
of that natural blue and green
With little drops of yellow, pink and white
I’d close my eyes and let in all the light

With one deep breath I’d taste the air
embracing life without a care
Letting go and leaving it to chance
I tell you right this moment...
I could dance.

Deo Volente
January 6, 2009

Are you mine...

I happened to catch the tail end of a movie last night that really was a beautiful story about friendship, family and home. It inspired me to write the following poem, hope you enjoy it but more importantly, hope you understand it.


Are you mine
in the heart beats of a song
that echoes through the night so very long
In silence of the harmony unheard
woven neatly into every word

Are you mine
within the gusts of winds so strong
tossed about by waves of right and wrong
Crashing onto shores that can’t be seen
the edges of life’s wonders blue and green

Are you mine
inside the slender hour glass
that represents the years that come to pass
Slipping grain by grain so far away
lost but not forgotten is the day

Are you mine
as the fortunes start to turn
derailed by fleeting lessons yet to learn
With stumbles that appear before the fall
in the shadow of endeavours to stand tall

Are you mine
in the moment that it’s spoken
when the voice of true wisdom has awoken
As eyes become so open they must see
are you mine when all I have to give is me.

Deo Volente
January 4, 2009

fairytales

Why can’t there be fairytales
With butterflies on silver sails
From wishes in the shadows of the moon
Nestled in the hue of its festoon

Where unicorns run wild and free
And dreams are just what they should be
Vast, as the fields that trim the sky
On wings of an eternity to fly

where snowflakes fall from wishful stars
with fairy dust as red as mars
sprinkled in the winds that shape the clouds
Every little fantasy out loud

A tapestry to be displayed
On walls of houses firmly made
From cornerstones of stories old and new
Why can’t every fairytale come true?

Deo Volente
January 3, 2009