The changes in me

Via Facebook...this is so cool!

2012-01-30T09:10:00.002-05:00

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Christmas

2011-12-24T19:02:00.001-05:00

Today I was asked what the meaning of Christmas was and it made me think. Without question it is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ but there is more, at least that is what I think. I could care less about things purchased in the rush of the seasons fever, what matters to me is love. The day marks the greatest act of love and if I can give but a fraction of that love to anyone I would be whole...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a blessed night.
D.V.

Thinking...direction

2011-10-11T11:22:00.000-04:00

I think it's official, I think therefore I am, right? What you ask, well "I am lost!" figuratively speaking of course. I am lost on the seas of life in the sail boat of uncertainty, drifting into the abyss of blue that taunts me so. I am without coordinates though I am feverishly groping in a steadfast direction. Will the wind pick up or shall I remain as I am...only time can tell...quite the quandary, if I do say so myself.

D.V.

Mistakes

2011-10-07T17:19:00.001-04:00

What a mistake to make...who said that? Well that really doesn't matter because at some point we all say it. The trick it not to let the mistake defeat you but rather to learn and grow from it. You can liken it to a baby learning to walk. With every step comes the chance of falling but they still try and more importantly when they do fall they get back up and try again. It really is that simple. So with every mistake big and small I say, shake it off and take big steps until the walk is over.

Have a great weekend world
D.V.

As I ponder...

2011-10-06T10:17:00.000-04:00

I am the least of that which surrounds me, yet my heartbeats as though I were a tumbleweed in a furious wind storm, racing to catch upmaybe even to get ahead.

In truth I am often content being behind, never wanting for thatwhich brings noise and fury. Yet I still find I crave the fulfillment of itsemptiness. It makes me wonder; what is it that makes the dull sparkle and assuch, what causes sparks to fade?

I know that some things are simply above my level ofcognitive reasoning, but that does not mean I cannot ponder, so I do…I ponderand mull over that and this, and this and that…Ever the empty vessel in searchof overflow. I suspect that’s why God made dreams, I can imagine Freud isvoicing his disgust with me for having the audacity to say that but such is thebeauty of questions. Why else would we dream a little dream if not to make it bigger?It is the ultimate flame, starting in the least assuming way and growing withevery breath that we take. Blazing unforgivingly until we quench it or it runsout of fuel. Still, I am merely the speck of insignificance that dwells in thevoid of significance, so it really doesn’t matter what I think or does it?

Deo Volente

October 2, 2011

I Ponder

As I ponder, as I wonder

do the stars look down and smile

does the wind that flow about me

wish to linger for a while.

I can see them, every sparkle

dew at rest upon the grass

are they tears of Mother nature

for the things that do not last

I hear rumble, clouds that grumble

as the sun puts up a fight

though defeated it is humbled

for the rain drops are contrite

As I ponder, still I wonder

burning candles slowly fade

dreams that tarry in the distance

on a path, yet to be laid.

Deo Volente

October 6, 2011

More than a thought

2011-09-27T11:16:00.000-04:00

I was feeling out of sorts the other day and true to my quirks I wrote "dreams". That would have been the end of it had I not seen the story of a 14 year old who took his life. I caught myself wishing I had met Jamey before he gave in to the voices of hate that clawed their way in. Hopelessness is a terrible thing, it can consume thoughts as quickly as the humming birds' wings flutter. It is so important that we weigh our words and supersede our actions with thought and it is even more important for us to teach that to our children....in honor of a life gone too soon, I am re posting "wingless angel" along with the poem "dreams". May we learn and grow daily.

Dreams

I used to dream
As vast as the blue of sky
As bright as the stars on high
I used to dream...

Wishing though I could not see

Hoping it was meant to be
For a greater woman be
Me a stronger self in she

I’d hold my breath
And take it in
The air that burned so deep within
I used to dream

In darkness of the night so still

Beyond my cries
Beyond my ills
I prayed so many times before
Praying till I prayed no more

I used to hold out for the when

And hold out still again and again
I used to dream

But now the night knows not that spark

That flickered in my childish heart
What started with a thought so meek
No longer for sweet dreams I seek

I used to dream
I used to dream…

Deo Volente

September 25, 2011

Wingless Angel

Rise up wingless Angel

forget your worries and your fears
The time has come to close the book
and wipe away those tears

Rise up wingless Angel

it’s the day for us to part
All the memories, precious moments
Safely wrapped up in my heart

Rise up wingless Angel

set your sights for yonder shore
Though you’re hurting, not deserting
Love you still and evermore

Rise up wingless Angel

head toward the greatest blue
You’ve accomplished everything
that you were put on Earth to do

Rise up wingless Angel

start your journey to the light
Take your place among the stars
so we can visit you at night

Rise up wingless Angel

must ascend now, don’t you cry
You’ve written your great story
now it’s time to say goodbye

Rise up wingless Angel

To that place up in the sky
Take those wings…
you’ve surely earned them,
now it’s time, sweet Angel fly.

Deo Volente

November 9, 2007

Fear

2011-09-09T10:23:00.000-04:00

I made a trip not long ago
My heart a beating drum
I faced the faces that were there
to do what should be done

Fear poked me, shook me, shouting so…

you foolish woman see!
and shaken though I might have been
God’s glory was to be…

He took me gently bythe hand

and said; It’s time to fight!
Then just as fierce as fear had been…
it cowardly took flight.

Deo Volente

September 9, 2011

http://deosview.blogspot.com/2011/09/to-god-be-glory.html

In translation... A walk to remember

2011-08-24T10:03:00.000-04:00

A walk to remember...

Tis you sweet wind that takes me there

I feel your touch and know you care
You reached into this soul of start
and built it up with all your heart

Sweet voice of wind that loves the stars

your eyes would show me who you are
You angel of this earthly time
where I am yours and you are mine

With breath of air I took you in

and by God’s hand we could begin…
Our walk too short to comprehend
and yet our walk shall never end

For even now that we’re apart

in still of wind you touch my heart
You paved the way so I could see
just how to set my spirit free
To dance among the stars that shine
oh wind, sweet wind, forever mine.

Deo Volente

August 22, 2011

I came close...

2011-07-29T13:59:00.000-04:00

I came close to being angry
in the instance of a thought
how dare you, I did wonder
as I thought of things I ought...
I should tell you just as frankly
as the lashing of a tongue
I should point out indiscretion
for your action was so wrong
then I caught the words inside me
as I read the words you took
in an instant went my anger
as the truth took hold and shook
for it dawned on me in marvel
what a blessing twas indeed
though your motive was of question
it would help to plant a seed
twas a thought that I had written
from the chambers of my heart
but it took you to remind me
of the message in the art.

Deo Volente
July 29, 2011

A thought

2011-07-24T16:37:00.001-04:00

For every piece
of the past held tight
a piece of the present
dies before tomorrows light
so hold if you must
that which has gone by
but remember in that moment,
tis your future you deny.

Deo Volente
July 24, 2011

A thought

2011-07-15T11:46:00.000-04:00

May you be reminded, in each day of twist and turn
That every door that opens is a chance to grow and learn
While every door that closes was a chapter meant to end
But there’s never doors or hinges between God, family and friends.

Deo Volente
July 15, 2011

What do you think?

2011-06-16T21:07:00.001-04:00

I have often wondered what makes people sum up one of Gods creations in a matter of seconds. What can you possibly learn about a person in the time it takes to blink? Many years ago my car for whatever reason, on a busy road no less, decided to stall. Had I been alone I might not have thought much of it but I had two small children in the back seat and the lane I was in happened to be smack in the middle of the road. I thought long and hard about trying to get the children to safety but with traffic as heavy as it was I dreaded what might happen. To complicate the situation the hazard lights would not come on so I couldn't give the drivers headed my way a heads up. As time went by several vehicles came up behind me and four people made contact in one form or the other. Two women; one in a suit by all appearances on her way home from work, the other in jeans and a blouse possibly headed to one of the stores in the plaza to my left. A clean cut man in a rather nice suit and a young man with shaved head and more tattoos than I could count. Keep in mind that I was wearing a blouse with dress pants, my hair was disheveled and I was (still am) completely ignorant to the complex mechanics of a motor vehicle...I would love to tell you how the story unfolds but instead I'll invite you to tell me what you think and why...if you don't wish to leave a comment feel free to send me an email.

D.V.

Oh you...

2011-06-10T00:51:00.000-04:00

Oh you, in the stillness of vast flowing world
commanding in moment my senses to turn
to look and to listen to feel and to learn
my praise without question you've earned

much more than the twist in the scatter of words
or callous crude steps on the slightest of turn
Oh your craft is much more than this...
a blessing from God is thy gift.

it matters not slightly the curve of your face
the voice of your tongue
your fashion, your grace
these things do not count dear I say
for they do not capture thy day

Tis words formed in thought that transcended to keys
or eyes behind lens that reflect what soul sees
the reasons that bring me to call
to you they may seem rather small...
truth is they inspire us all.

Deo Volente
June 10, 2011

Old rose

2011-06-07T22:34:00.001-04:00

Once so vibrant, center stage
now faded by the mark of age
but wise are eyes that seek the depth
of beauty in the days now left
for old is not the mark of end
If living to life we append.

Deo Volente
June 7, 2011

Return

2011-06-02T09:39:00.000-04:00

I’ve been away I grant you,
distant but not aloof
I know I’ve not been present
with you, by you, in truth
One could say I’ve been lurking
in shadows that were cast
Upon the walls of then and there
constructed in the past
Like whisper on the tip of tongue
from yesterdays before
A ship of thoughts that set a sail
on sea to distant shore

I would say that I’m sorry
but that would not be so
For though I have been missing
I’ve been here, don’t you know
In corners of the moments
made slowly from a walk
In footprints of the silence
where words refuse to talk
Sitting in the stillness
that comes by way of moon
And though you couldn’t see me
you knew I’d be back soon.

So hello to the chatter
that was without my voice
I smile out from this window
with joy by way of choice
I’m here in all my glory
now fresh from distant pause
I thank you so for waiting
till I returned with cause.

Deo Volente
May 31, 2011

For Mothers

2011-05-08T10:40:00.000-04:00

I wish you all a happy Mothers day, may you know how much you are loved and appreciated by those you hold most dear.

DV

And the world forgot...

2011-04-24T12:55:00.000-04:00

And the world forgot…

The sun peeked through the window announcing it was here
The dew in morning sparkle began to disappear
The clouds danced in the wonder of radiant blue sky
The day that once was morning was slowly creeping by

The street light changed its’ colors, commuters made their way
On tar of destination, to work, to school, to play…
The train passed by so slowly, to chimes of church bell ring
The birds perched in the treetops like yesterday did sing

The creek flowed on in trickle for wanting of the rain
The squirrels frolicked on branches again and yet again
The toddlers were quite rowdy while playing at the park
The dog that they did startle, decided he would bark

Two runners caught up quickly, to walkers on the trail
A woman gazed in earnest, determined yet so frail
Two men had ventured fishing by boat out on the lake
The air became a perfume of hot dogs and burnt steak

The lush grass now a symbol that spring had come anew
The season of past winter had bid its blades adieu
The hours kept on turning with minutes rolling by
No sign within the seconds of final kiss goodbye
The world just kept on turning as busy as a bee…
It seemed to have forgotten, those scribed on deaths decree.

Deo Volente
April 21, 2011

Filly

2011-04-24T12:34:00.000-04:00

I'm one determined filly
who doesn't willy nilly
I put my best foot firmly first
them brace the other for the worst
that doesn't make me silly...
I'm just one feisty filly.

Deo Volente
April 24, 2011

Japan

2011-03-16T11:10:00.000-04:00

My heart goes out to the people of Japan.

D.V.

Thanks Mom...

2011-03-15T23:33:00.000-04:00

This is a poem my mother shared with me the other night...I searched for the author to no avail but I like it so much I wanted to share it with you...

A man of words and not of deeds
is like a garden full of weeds
and when the weeds begin to grow
it's like a garden full of snow
and when the snow begins to fall
it's like a bird upon the wall
and when the bird away does fly
it's like an eagle in the sky
and when the sky begins to roar
it's like a lion at the door
and when the door begins to crack
it's like a stick across your back
and when your back begins to smart
it's like a penknife in your heart
and when your heart begins to bleed
you're dead and dead and dead indeed.

Anonymous

Spring 2011

2011-03-14T22:17:00.001-04:00

Here I stand on crest of spring
these fingers will do everything
So weeds I do declare
your time of end is near
Yes garden I shall make you bloom
I’ll dig away your winter gloom
This grass will soon be green…
like eyes have never seen
These hands shall work to make it be
‘tis written in spring time decree
I'll prune and edge with care
and bring back gardens cheer
Oh spring my dear I’ve missed you so
To see you bloom and watch you grow
These birds that serenade
perched on your leaves of shade
Oh how I love your pallet’s hue
and all the marvel that is you,
you know not what you do…
sweet spring we shall renew.

Deo Volente
March 14, 2011

Prayers

2011-03-11T23:58:00.001-05:00

The least I can do is to pray,
the best I can do is to pray,
the greatest thing I can do is to join hands in prayer.

St. Matthew 18:20
"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them."

D.V.

Sweet dreams

2011-03-10T00:09:00.000-05:00

Why can't I have sweet dreams...
I'm cursed it truly seems
so shackled by the weight of thought
in all the doubts this day has brought
sweet wishes out of sight
and thus begins my night
to toss and turn and wrestle through
that's all in darkness I can do
for sleep shall know no rest
although I do my best
warm milk can never put to ease
what comes by way of gentle breeze
the moon that shines its light
is back drop to my fright
from prayers made down on my knees
I beckon to God, if you please
lay hands upon my head
and shield me from this dread
not yet I fear he said...
give time to hope, give time to me
give time to faith and you will see
these dreams are meant to warn
tread lightly in thy morn.

Deo Volente
March 8, 2011

Defeat

2011-03-08T00:42:00.000-05:00

If I told you how I tried
how I've prayed and how I've cried
you may tell me that I've lied
but still it's true...
all the ache I hold inside is nothing new.
From the torment I can't hide
blessings carelessly denied
every wayward step that trampled within stride
bear the pieces of a heart that slowly died.
Behind eyes as cold as ice
ask me once and ask me twice
for the mirror of the soul that used to be
bears a darkness that I never thought I'd see.
Now I'm shaken to my core
and I fear there will be more
as the tree of lies is starting to bear fruit
you forget that God will always know the truth.
If I tell you what you've lost
what is priceless in its cost
you may roll your eyes and think me such a fool
but the wealth of life comes not by spark of jewel.
Ask me thrice is you so choose
walk a mile in these old shoes
them the edges of thy tongue won't be so able
for someday your hand will rest upon that cradle.
Now I turn to God in faith
to give love beyond thy hate
hoping so that I will learn to bear my cross
as I give to him that which I know I've lost.

Deo Volente
March 7, 2011

What of it.

2011-03-03T17:15:00.000-05:00

What of it at the end remains
one bucket in the pouring rain
Some things we simply can’t contain
and yet we dare to try
on wings that shall not fly

A fire that will burn with rage
shall fade in time but spread with age
For as the minutes know
the wind shall make it so

Oh butterfly so fresh and new
remember still from whence you grew
The Earth that knew you then
shall know you once again

What of it at the end shall be
why care at all soon you will see
For now is just one chime
upon the hands of time

One meager step beyond the crawl
that swings the doors beyond these walls
Where freedom lays in wait
and so too tarries fate

As caution hits the window pane
each crack shall know both sun and rain
but when these marvels sting
what then of everything

When anger is the stench of air
devoid of love, respect and care
Then every breath shall take you there
the blight of misery’s season
but then, you have your reason.

Deo Volente
February 28, 2011

God's Love

2011-02-28T22:47:00.001-05:00

Through God’s love we learn kindness
from kindness we find compassion
with compassion we gain humility
Through humility we build character
from character we learn courage
with courage we gain strength
Through strength we gain vision
with vision we seek knowledge
from knowledge we gain wisdom
Through wisdom we find understanding
with understanding we learn acceptance
from acceptance we learn how to love…

Deo Volente
February 28, 2011

May the circle that brings you growth
Always be rooted in the love of God.

Burden...

2011-02-25T22:45:00.000-05:00

It came my way, I took a look
down to my core, it surely shook
The cross that I did carry
through grumbles I would tarry
For every moment of complaint
a sinners burden, not a saint
This load too great I said
still blind to what’s ahead
I cried to you oh lord, with voice
that every step too hard a choice
Make lighter this my cross
I knew not what the cost
Each prayer you would answer still
for you believed in my free will
Knowing what would be
that which I could not see
This cross so crafted was my tool
if only I was not a fool
and when the time had come
it could not be undone...
for I forgot thy son.

Deo Volente
February 25, 2011

I wrote this poem because of an email I received that made me rethink how I pray when my life seems at its most difficult. A man carrying a cross kept praying for it to be lighter and he got his wish but when he came to a ditch he was unable to cross it and others who had carried their cross without complaint were able to use their cross as a bridge to make it to the other side. The thing is, I have no idea what is ahead, only God can see beyond my field of sight and as such he gives me what I need to make it beyond my obstacles, I just have to remember that. I hope that email makes it to your inbox, if it has not already.

At the end...

2011-02-21T21:32:00.000-05:00

What of the mighty setting sun but glory to behold,
a light of day that once begun with hours to unfold.
In blaze across the tempered sky with kisses to the wind
a hue of waltz within the clouds that touches soul and skin
No other star shall ever shine as luminous as she…
Who stands upon horizons tip and melts into the sea.

Deo Volente
February 21, 2011

http://deosview.blogspot.com/2011/02/at-end.html

Sometimes I forget…

2011-02-20T20:38:00.000-05:00

The day consumes me minute by minute
eyes fail to fall on the blessing within it
I push though the chaos that finds me just so
neglecting the blessings that God did bestow
The marvel of dew drops, the wonder of rain
the warmth of the sun and the fact that I’m sane
The sweet sound of echoing laughter
what comes in between and still after
A sparkle that flickers inside my child’s eyes
a moment that makes me so proud I could cry
The words of a strangers warm greeting
marvels that seem ever fleeting
A phone call, an email, a text without reason
wondrous sights in the turn of the season
I rush through the steps of my path
forgetting that which does not last
I find I see struggles, I find I feel pain
I find I remember lost trials again
forgetting my blessing indeed
The treasures of Gods planted seed
his mercy, his patience, his love without fail
His presence not only as life does derail
so foolish of me when I let…
Life’s twist, turns and stumbles abet,
while of me God never forgets.

Deo Volente
February 20, 2011

Choices

2011-02-17T00:42:00.000-05:00

What would you do? I believe that every step I take in life is a choice. Doesn't matter the reason or the circumstance that leads me there, it is always my choice and I know that God will see my heart and keep me safe. After all only God knows everything so who better to turn to as I make the choices that pave my way. I say this to you because for the millionth time I happened to see the commercial that has a lady in a hurry picking her children up and instead of leaving their friend alone on the park bench waiting for his father she turns back and sits with him. I often wonder how many people would do that. It's all about choices, not merely the ones we make as others are watching but more importantly, the ones we make that only God can see.

D.V.

Jamaican email...

2011-02-13T07:36:00.001-05:00

A man who makes caskets was on his way to deliver one of the coffins when his car broke down.
Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.
Some Jamaican policemen saw him and wanted to make some money off him (bribe), so they challenged him:"Hey!!! Wha dat yuh a carry an which part yuh goin!"
The man said, "mi nuh like which part dem bury mi, so mi a relocate".

The Policemen ran for their lives!!!

Loss

2011-02-09T19:24:00.000-05:00

‘Tis an image I would soon forget
If not for the wishes of yet
Crafted inside long lost when
as vivid as it is now then
‘Tis a tear drop of crystal in pain
Shed for what was not in vain
‘tis years that can never be counted
dreams of a life not amounted
A smile that lives only by thought
engraved into moments now lost
‘tis a laughter no longer of sound
in memories of silence re-found
On page within time long ago
‘tis you I recall as I go…
a tale without end ever so.

Deo Volente
February 8, 2011

Thinking

2011-02-04T15:54:00.000-05:00

I caught myself wondering the other day about the age old saying " you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" thing is, I thought the saying meant that some people are too stubborn to be reasoned with. Then it occurred to me, that's only one way to look at it. What if the saying is as much a reminder of resolve as it is of stubbornness, two halves of the whole so to speak. Several scenarios came to mind, like the condition of the water or the horse for that matter. What if the water was sure to make the horse sick or the horse was already sick. What if the horse wasn't thirsty or knew there was a better place to drink ahead. I suppose it depends on how you look at it and of course who comes to mind when you do. Still it made me think and the truth is no matter how you look at it, taking a stand requires strength, doesn't matter if it comes by way of ignorance or by way of wisdom...I know, I have too much time on my hands :)

D.V.

Growth

2011-02-04T14:52:00.001-05:00

If I shall put to rest
my worst, then soon my best
for from each fall and wayward slip
I’ve found with time resounding grip
Each fault has made me sound
by them this self was found

Deo Volente
February 4, 2011

Take me there...

2011-02-03T16:37:00.003-05:00

You may think I'm crazy, you wouldn't be the first and I suspect you will not be the last but I have to share. I was in the store the other day and "Take me there" started playing on the PA system, before I knew it, I was singing and fighting the urge to dance. As much as this song was created so long ago for a cartoon no less, it always gets me moving. If you are unfamiliar with it, it is the theme song for the Rugrats movie by Blackstreet not to be confused with the song by Rascal Flatts. When I got home I had to Google it. Though the video came up I just listened to the words, the video didn't matter. I have always been that way, music to me is more about words and the message within, I am perfectly content listening. Truth is, music has the power to take me there, no matter where there may be.

D.V.

Through the crack

2011-02-02T09:33:00.000-05:00

If all I see is through the crack
a window that does not look back
these eyes shall not unveil
what lies beneath the tale.
What dwells so deep below the skin
shall not be known from outside in
reflections at a glance
if not in time, by chance.
If all I know is wading deep
in shallow end of wake or sleep
then ignorance is mine
for truth I shall not find.
What surely dwells where walls are sound
the core of all that can be found
from laughter, tears and more
behind a deadbolt door.
If all I know is what I see
then little shall be known to me
until the curtains slide
and walls no longer hide.
Except for that of lock and key
for only eyes of God to see,
'tis now as it shall be, come in and you will see...
imperfect, yes are we.

Deo Volente
February 1, 2011

A stroll

2011-01-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

Peace can be found in the steps of a stroll
will you join me on a walk to nowhere?
Shall we wonder without aim neither here nor there
and celebrate the lazy steps we take.
Falling victim to the marvel of the blearing blue sky
touching blades of grass along our journey.
Feeling passion for the air that finds our lungs
loving every second, that goes by...
‘tis the only way the spirit knows to fly.

Deo Volente
January 21, 2011

In time

2011-01-20T23:20:00.000-05:00

What good am I, I have no wing
Nor can I whistle like birds sing
One withered leaf, without a place
Of time that was, I’m but erased

What good are you, of disregard
With callous aim and buoyant heart
A raging storm of plenty
Tis you that I shall envy

What good are we, two bound by fate
On path by way of dreary state
to earth as I decay
by earth you find your way

what good is this, that life has planned
perplexed, I wish to understand
I’m ushered to such end
While you in time transcend

What good am I, in wasted form
The aftermath of raging storm
So ravaged by the season
Weep not, for there is reason…

Though once you were of branch of tree
It came to pass that you should be
of moment that would pass
To soil, in time be cast

In arms with rain and seed of fruit
till glory of one newborn root
in soil beneath life’s tree…
We’re blessings, don’t you see.

Deo Volente
January 19, 2011

Will

2011-01-19T07:42:00.000-05:00

I wish I could beyond the doubt
Reach deep in and rip it out
That which invades the light
The dark before the night

I wish I could of heart and soul
Seek out what seems to make it whole
Then shatter it with might
To make the wrong be right

I wish I could in whisper still
Find courage and the sense of will
To face the dark that spreads
And never be mislead

Yes though I maybe weak and frail
Tis in the dawn I shall prevail
I’ll rise much like the sun
And fight till I have won

I’ll shed each doubt like snake its skin
And let the power deep within
Dismantle what wont break
Forgiving each mistake
Not only for my sake.

Deo Volente
January 19, 2011

The eyes no longer have it

2011-01-18T21:04:00.001-05:00

So my eyes are not what they once were, comes with age, right…
A few years ago I noticed that every so often, I had the hardest time seeing small print. Then the typos followed, dare I say in rapid succession. I was diagnosed with astigmatism but the thing that gets me is, it seems to have a mind of it’s own. Well I refuse to wear my glasses because they make my eyes hurt and the logic of “your eyes need time to adjust” just will not work for me. If they are supposed to improve my situation, why then is there need for an adjustment period? My best guess is the ophthalmologist was in such a rush to cram as many patients into his wallet as he could, he flew through the exam and fell a few drops short of a full bucket…so if you have noticed a few more errors than usual, that would be the reason. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it :)

D.V.

just a thought

2011-01-16T12:38:00.001-05:00

By serving each other we serve ourselves…I could be crazy but it stands to reason that we have the ability to make our world better by assisting one another in the most basic ways. An ear, in times of worry, a smile in times of pain, a friend in times of …well you get the idea. The smallest thing can make the greatest difference, have you made a difference today?

D.V.

Music Music

2011-01-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

A fellow blogger asked...here is my answer, well one anyway... enjoy

The spoon

2011-01-13T15:49:00.000-05:00

The reality of life dictates that as we grow older we not only forget about things that once were our present but also how to think with the curiosity and innocence of youth. It maybe because we become so aware of our lives that we forget to live or maybe we allow the world in so much, we inevitably lose sight of simple joys. This is by no means a new thought for me but today, as I was shown a spoon in utter amazement, it resonated more than ever. The curious child to my left, who simply did not feel like eating, decided instead to observe the wonder of his reflection in his spoon. Much to his surprise, he discovered that on the back of the spoon his reflection was right side up but on the front it was upside down. His eyes were widened by his discovery and he just had to share the moment. At first I smiled but instead of enjoying the moment, I almost explaining away the magic of the spoon. I’m glad I chose not to, after all, we all deserve to believe in the magic and wonder of life for as long as possible, spoon or no spoon.

D.V.
January 13, 2011

Snow

2011-01-13T01:27:00.000-05:00

Yes I am like the driven snow,
a cast off from the clouds.
A speck inside the swirl of wind,
before I take a bow.
My knees may bend
but I shall stand,
for with these curves of life I plan,
to be of truth that keeps my eyes a blaze,
life’s unexpected moments shall not phase.
Don’t rule me out for tears I cry,
in moments that I shan’t deny.
All steps within a ladder I must climb
each toss of wind so chiseled in my time.
I rise, I fall, I sway, I’m still
but tears shall never shake my will…
For tears like rain must water what will grow,
life’s lessons and life’s virtues I will sow.

Deo Volente
January 13, 2011

Rain

2011-01-09T10:45:00.001-05:00

Rain is but a heavenly shower,
that washes away the doubts of morrow.
To nurture the soil and seed of sure…
so we may grow to something more.

D.V.
January 8, 2011

Fool

2011-01-07T15:42:00.002-05:00

It's another dreary day, the sun has taken refuge behind a blanket of gray clouds and my heart has joined it. I found it strange that the year began so gloomy but as the saying goes... "you never see smoke without fire". I had high hopes this year for things I shall and ought not mention. Funny how age has no bearing on dreams yet time makes all the difference. So I wonder, heavy heart and all, when will the sun return? When will the light of a new day peak out at this heart with warmth? Tis a dreary day indeed, much like the color of this dream.

one heartfelt dream 'tis stolen now
by thief of time, I wonder how
one broken stone it took
lean closer, take a look

yes faulty was that dreams' design
a blueprint that held all the signs
though blameless is the sun
where darkness has begun

for clouds were woven thick and gray
and thus no sparkle made its way
too weak to shatter through
what else could sunlight do

it may as well be dark as night
for loneliness has strangled sight
who fights I ask for naught
who cares for what they've got

who sees the bump around the bend
and presses on the gas my friend
who, my dear, alas...
this feeble mind does ask.

for in it spins a thousand thoughts
in hopes that one true spark is caught
to shed light on the way
to ease what brings dismay

how foolish was that thought to dream
of darkness in recurring theme
to wish for light of day
a wiser lad might say...

but fools have dreams as all else do
and yes they try to see them through
their flaw comes with their heart...
for that is where they start,
this lesson I impart.

Deo Volente
January 7, 2011.

flight 2

2011-01-07T11:22:00.000-05:00

In still of wind one bird will fly
To say hello, to say goodbye
A dream that stirs till dawn
Those tiny wings so strong

A span that spreads with daring might
Within the doubts of that first flight
The nest no longer cradles
A truth beyond its fables

How strong the trust in leap must be
To face the air beyond that tree
A chance that she may fall
Determined to stand tall

Who knows but fate, one second more
Who knows but God, what is in store
Within the fears and pain…
She spreads her wings again

To soar atop the tree that was
In flight to be of life, of love
The leap that comes with step,
from whence she grew and slept…
Gods’ arms now she is kept.

Deo Volente
January 7, 2011

One...

2011-01-05T10:01:00.001-05:00

Just beyond a flicker
A fire starts its journey…
I can hear the voices warn me
But legs as logic fail
And thus begins thy tale
Of woman and of pain
Inside and out of rain
One drop caress
Two drops a mess
Each one to disappear
Please tell me why I’m here
Some walls we simply cannot scale
Some times we are just meant to fail
No matter hearts’ desire
Each flicker turns to fire.
What knows the dark
Will seek the light
What comes by day will glow by night
The heart will always know
A curse that is just so
For though the voices find defeat
Each step adds up to thy retreat
And thus the tale is told...
One shatter heart of old.

Be Brave, Be Strong, Be Bold!

Deo Volente
January 5, 2011

music...music...music

2011-01-05T09:34:00.000-05:00

I can relate but I'm still on the fence...beautiful song never the less.

The Mom in me...

2010-12-31T13:13:00.001-05:00

This is one of the times every year that the Mom in me comes out, not just for family and friends but to everyone. So here goes....Tonight as you celebrate the last moments on the clock that is 2010 and wait in great anticipation to greet the beginning of 2011 I have a request. If you must drink alcohol then please do not drive, we all want to see more than just the first few minutes of the New Year. If you are out and about, be aware of where you are and who is around you, celebration does not mean you can't be cautious. If you intend to light up the sky, please follow the directions to be sure you don't light up anything else. Most important of all, no matter what take time to thank God for the years gone and the year to come and show those you care about that you love then every chance you get.

Happy New Year to Everyone!
DV

Out with the old ...

2010-12-28T00:05:00.000-05:00

Every new year since my teen years I have thought long and hard about the lessons of the old year and what if anything I needed to improve upon. These resolutions are always well thought out and every year one particular resolution makes the list yet is never accomplished. It could be that this resolution simply goes against the person that I am at my core or maybe I am just too afraid of what it would truly mean if this one powerful change came to be. I tell you this because as this year comes to its end I have begun reflecting and it has occurred to me that if I resolve to make changes, shouldn't these changes be like the seed of a tree, planted carefully in fertile soil. Something that as time goes by will not only cause me to be proud of the fruits of my labor but more importantly bring me true joy. That said I resolve this year never to add this resolution to my list again for some seeds are simply not meant to bare fruit.

D.V.

soon and very soon...

2010-12-21T22:02:00.000-05:00

Well everyone Christmas is just around the corner, are you ready? I am not. Never the less, I wish you all the best Christmas that God can provide...after all this day is not about money or material things, it is about the birth of Jesus and I simply cannot think of a better reason to celebrate...can you?

Deo.

USA Characters Unite

2010-12-11T09:50:00.000-05:00

USA Characters Unite

Winter!

2010-12-07T22:12:00.000-05:00

I have a sneaking suspicion that this shall be a winter to remember. I had to go out tonight for a bit and if I told you I had any feeling in my toes or fingers I would be lying. So as you can imaging I am rather hesitant about Christmas shopping because if you have not already figured it out, I am not one for the numbing sensation that comes with this sort of weather. Never the less the list is long and for some reason, it keeps getting longer...some people keep changing their wish list. I suppose they are trying to keep me on my toes...might as well, I can't feel them anyway. Have a safe and rewarding time as you all shop around this season and try not to forget that age old saying "it's the thought that counts"

D.V.
December 7, 2010.

Memories

2010-12-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

I hear you knocking
like wind rocking
the trees of fall
I hear you call
I hear you screaming
in nightmares dreaming
swallowed by the dark
longing for that spark
I hear your footsteps
your every regret
paths taken that cannot be undone
I hear you breathless as you run
faster and faster to your fate
every turn that you debate
I hear your laughter
this day and after
through the crystal of your tears
through the dawn of all your fears
I feel you breathing
of heart so fleeting
drifting as the waves of morrow
I taste the salt of your sorrow
I hear you slipping
the clock that's ticking
reaching out to the abyss
so many things you'll surely miss
I hear your reason
for every season
winter blue, from old to new
spring of birth, each seed of worth,
summer sweet shine, hours true divine
fall...return to earth, priceless is thy worth
believe that which you are
God's hand picked shining star
I see you growing
in time of knowing
as age finds you with time
each turn upon this chime.
I hear you loudly beyond your whisper
and in truth, here is the kicker...
I hear you though these ears have fallen deaf...
for from this heart that beats, you never left.

Deo Volente
December 2, 2010

Falling...

2010-12-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

Catch me if you dare,
‘tis not the fall I fear.
What scares so deep inside this soul
is what lies at the end of old.
So catch me if you know,
for then it shall be so.
On cliff that taunts with height alone,
where earth collides with clash of stone.
Sweet wind shall find thy sail,
without the gust of tale.
There is no wax upon thy wing,
no idle tune for heart to sing.
So failure shall not be,
where marvel beckons free.
Where sky is blue and cloud is white,
where life has beacons of delight.
Falling I shall be…
like leaves of winter’s tree.
So if at all ‘twas meant my dear,
then catch me without thought or fear,
for I have done the same, to life, to love, exclaim…
on wind that calls thy name.

Deo Volente
December 2, 2010

Always Lost

2010-12-01T16:17:00.000-05:00

Did you know I am "directionally impaired"... I am almost always lost! Fully aware of this affliction I decided to accept an invite to Atlanta because I needed to get away. It was the first time since I became a Mother that I have packed up and left my family behind and that in and of itself was hard enough. Still at the first sight of day, off I went...the wind was bone chilling and traffic was smooth, minus the woman who was going around 90, bopping and weaving through traffic and doing her makeup. I had to wonder if she was trying to be, as they say, casket sharp...so I took the nearest rest stop to put some safe distance between us. All in all the drive there was not too bad, I enjoyed my visit for more reasons than I can count but soon it was time to head back. I had my directions in hand and I felt sure I would be fine, after all I got there ok. What I didn't consider was, on the way there my husband with the best of intentions, went on the computer while talking to me on the phone and rerouted me, to make the trip easier. Needless to say, I did not make note of the "easier" path, I simply chose to back track using the original directions...big mistake! I went almost 45 minutes out of my way and to add insult to injury, ended up having to maneuver my way through a maze of one way streets just to get back to where I started...I was so angry with myself. I honestly thought that I had finally turned a page in this chapter... I have successfully driven to Florida and back without any real problems so why did this happen now. Then I wondered if it was divine intervention... as the saying goes "no man is an island" could it be I needed to be reminded that as much as I play an important role in my husband and children's lives, they too play just as important a role in mine. For truth be told the children keep me grounded and their Dad always helps me find my way.
Safe travel this holiday season everyone...may you reach your destination and always find your way back home.

D.V.
December 1, 2010

Good morning

2010-11-22T13:31:00.001-05:00

The sun does not shine, on this morning of gray
I watch the clouds linger and wish them away.
It’s cold and it’s dreary but still my heart sings,
for in it, I recap my favorite things.

My hair is quite messy, my wrinkles all show,
which causes much laughing yet on I will go...
to tackle so bravely those stairs,
the reminder of all of my years.

Parts creak and parts crack like they didn’t before
and believe it or not there are part that hurt more,
but I’ll face it one step at a time,
for this heart beats of sweet hope sublime.

I’ll sing out a medley of songs old and new,
to conquer this grayness with shadows of blue
and dance about freely I say,
yes I’ll be my sunshine today...
at least till these clouds go away.

Deo Volente
November 22, 2010

Invited...

2010-11-21T10:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a day that came by way of many moods and chaos, it was to be but not of heart. I was invited to share in a celebration because one stranger thought of me. Such is the story of my life, I quietly do; forever in the background is my position. I once told a friend that the best way to describe me is invisible and I like it that way. Yesterday however, all eyes for a moment turned to me and needless to say I felt like running. If I could have shed my skin I would have but it was not an option so I stood. In the back as always, in the shadows as usual but this time, for just a moment, I was seen. I thank the kind stranger and all those who felt it important to look back in the shadows... I am not perfect, I am simply human, I live quietly, humbly and always in hope that God is with me. I do the things I do because I firmly believe that I should treat others the way I wish to be treated. There is no need in my eyes to thank me for that, I honestly know no other way to be.

D.V

Thinking...

2010-11-19T18:14:00.000-05:00

Today was a beautiful day for all the reasons that make fall a season near and dear to my heart. I stepped out of my "cave" so to speak, into the middle of a sunny, breath taking minute of my life. It occurred to me that Christmas is fast approaching and Thanksgiving is around the corner, yet the spirit of it all has not found me this year. Too many things have seeped into my sense of peace, too many dreams deferred for reasons no longer important, too many days in the dark...wasted. The thing is, I am well aware that each of these things lost can never return but I still find my heart has begun to grieve. Time is catching up on this old woman and now I wonder how to let go of what erodes my soul so that I may once again know how to be thankful and joyful for the things that have and continue to shower this simpletons life with blessings. Never the less, I want to wish you and everyone in this world of ours, a wonderful, breath taking day, today and every day in between and to offer a little advise... "always find balance or the scale will become a burden that you carry."

Deo

Pieces

2010-11-04T22:35:00.002-04:00

All the pieces from the creases
Of a whole that should have been
Every fragment of the patchwork
All the colors sewn right in
Quilt of memories, layered moments
Where the patterns shall begin
Missing stitches, broken wishes
Every part so thick so thin
We are crafters true designers
As these lives we’re woven through…
Make the pieces and the creases
That become both me and you.

Deo Volente
November 4, 2010

Bee..

2010-10-27T20:20:00.001-04:00

To bee
So busy so free
Driven by the smell of each flower
Wasting no time in your hour

Sweet bee
Of heart I surely see
The maker of golden honey
Lust not of wealth nor money

Such toil of thee
Oh precious bee
Without the thought of rest
You give it all your best…
I wish I had your zest.

Deo Volente
October 27, 2010

Tribute to Emily Dickinson

2010-10-22T00:55:00.002-04:00

Yes I could write a thousand words
on paper etched in breath
and still my strokes would not be heard
until they meet with death
For I am but as still as stream
without a currents push
A lifeless tree that garners not
the thought of second look
Not sprinkled by the lure of fall
with all her colors bright
A simple soul that lingers on…
the skirt tails of the night
Companion to the distant glow
of stars perched in the sky
To kiss the world with earnest love
no matter harsh deny…
one thousand words, of heart of soul…
to which life shan’t reply.

Deo Volente
October 21, 2010

Anger...

2010-10-15T08:44:00.001-04:00

One breath closer
one minute older
each turn within this time
these tools of every chime.
One step farther
one grip harder
another laden stone
from flesh to destined bone.
If eyes won’t see
then hands will seek
to grope about
in darkness deep
on journey carved and sealed
from destiny revealed.
Why waste one step
one breath
one chime...
On fruitless things of fickle stime,
When so much more can be,
Which hand shall turn thy key?
Old friend, I must agree.

Deo Volente
October 15, 2010

Beautiful she...

2010-09-28T22:09:00.000-04:00

How beautiful is she

This lady in bloom
Who grows up so soon
A smile that shines as the sun
Oh spirit of youth to be sung
Of glory of faith
So vibrant I state
Those eyes that capture life’s art
As talented as she is smart

How gracious is she
This child that I see
A heart that echoes desire
Blazing her trail much like fire
Her mark she will make
No, make no mistake
As tall as the mountains she’ll stand
Lead by the grace of God’s hand

Yes fortunate me
To know what I see
A marvel that time does unfold
As wonderful as she is bold
Sweet lady it shows
Young lady that knows
Through sunlight and rain you shall grow…
Dear lady I do love you so.

Deo Volente
September 28, 2010

growing up

2010-09-21T08:11:00.001-04:00

I reconnected with an old friend the other day and in conversation he shared that he hated being a grown up. Turns out that's not the whole truth, he just misses youth...the days of blissful ignorance, dare devil dreams, endless possibilities and adventure. Children tend to fantasize about adulthood, thinking it will merely signifies freedom. Freedom from parents and their boundaries, teachers and their rules...etc. What the mind of a child fails to grasp is the responsibility that comes with and for some of us it can be quite disappointing. Me I like being in charge of my life, I have a healthy respect for responsibility and I would never ever wish to return to yesteryear. If you happen to know me or have read my thoughts consistently then that should not surprise you what might however is that I believe that I have failed. I have spent every moment of my life catering to paving someone elses path, making sure that one person or another is o.k. or something to that effect and though for the most part I love these people whole heartedly, it's become apparent that I have lost myself along the way. If I had to guess, then I would say, that is the risk one takes when they look back ie reconnect with old friends. In doing so they are forced to see the dreams of their youth and to ponder which if any have come to fruition. The thing is, if none of them have, one has to wonder why. Life in my opinion is nothing more than a maze of winding roads, some with bold signs others with none. It is through a series of choices that one finds their way to where ever they end up and the only catch is; there is no turning back. Once you enter a path, you simply must complete the journey, yet it is all meant for us to learn and grow. The thing that worries me is I may have learned / learnt but I have not applied that knowledge to ensure growth. Try not to misunderstand, success in terms of wealth and status is not the growth I speak of. I am humble enough to not be swayed by the material, it is the emotional aspect of growth to which I refer. The sense of true accomplishment, much like the one you get from quietly doing a good deed. I seem, to my dismay, have stalled like an old and worn down car. Needless to say, now I wonder if I am simply out of time...though the fat lady hasn't started to sing I distinctly hear her humming.

D.V.

End of this rope...

2010-09-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever undertaken a task that you thought would be, well, simple and found many moons via blood, sweat and tears that it was anything but? If you have then I would like to request permission to officially join your club. Apparently I have lost the proverbial race with that pesky tortoise, for it took almost 15 years of my life to figure it out. Now that I have, what will I do you may ask, to that I shall respond in the only way appropriate...RUN! I shall pack up in the face of defeat, step into the light of shame and move on for I simply have no more fight... I am not usually one to give up but what else can I do. The situation brings to mind that old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink" this horse is as stubborn as his distant cousin, Gods will be done!

D.V
9.20. 2010.

perspective...

2010-09-14T18:05:00.000-04:00

I drove to the drive through against my better judgement, I do not like junk food. Still the little voice that reasoned so well from the back seat convinced me to, so I did. I listened to the ramble that I never understand which I assume is their way of convincing customers to spend more money than they intend to. I then placed my simple order, 2 items, no frills, no extras, just two things...easy right? I followed the instructions, made the payment, got the receipt and waited for my order. A smiling woman handed me a bag, which I do not check and proceed to drive off...as I pull away she yells out the window "your drink" to which I respond " I did not order one" that was red flag I couldn't ignore, so I checked the bag. Needless to say I got someone elses order, strangely enough, I wasn't angry, a bit put out, but not angry. I calmly found a spot, parked, explained the situation to the small passenger and we walked in to explain the mix up. I wasn't even at the counter and the smiling Lady caught my eye, arm out stretched with my order, she immediate apologized and said I should keep the wrong order on them. I thanked her, took my order and headed back to the truck when the little passenger said "that's nice, now you have something too" I couldn't help but smile, isn't it wonderful how children see the positive side of things.

D.V.
September 14, 2010.

Virgo

2010-09-07T12:40:00.000-04:00

This is the time of year that has me spinning, so many birthdays, so little organization. It doesn't matter how much I try to prepare I never seem to get the wishes out exactly as I would like. Never the less, I love it because these Virgos represent; my dearest friends and family members, people I love with all my heart...not that I don't love the non Virgos. The fact is; these individuals are some of the most beautiful people you could ever hope to meet. They are blunt to a fault, passionate beyond reason, devoted like no other and make no bones about it, they will cut you off in a heart beat if you rub them to wrong way. So I suppose I am fortunate to have so many of these beautiful people to share my life with...Virgos, you just have to love them!

D.V.

Tomorrow...in lieu of today.

2010-08-24T18:09:00.001-04:00

Today was a day of old, twisted into the seconds of the clock like so many before it. Should that cause me bliss of contentment or fury of complacency? I am pleased that I have been blessed to take another breath, another dance, another step and yet I am weary of stale air and silent ballrooms. I wonder, does anyone know what I mean? does anyone understand this feeling but I? I fear the hand of God looms above me ready to smite, for I am not joyful or perhaps because I have failed to bury the seed of this marvelous fruit so that it might grow and bloom. Perplexing isn't it? uncertainty is the petri-dish of discontent, the fungi of misery. Shall I push beyond this preponderance and say; tomorrow will be a day unlike the one before it. A gift that shall not remain packaged, tossed in the corner of a dark closet, gathering dust...dare I be so bold as to profess, I this simpleton, who knows too well the mundane, shall venture out into exploration and feast on the secrets of life, the subtle fruit of living. I, mother, wife, woman, shall bloom like no flower before me, shall grab these days of life that remain and breathe as though every breath counted for something greater. Dance as though I ruled the stage, live as though life depended on it...for indeed, life is nothing if not for the pleasure of living.

Deo Volente
August 24, 2010

The quiet storm

2010-08-19T08:13:00.004-04:00

Two days of short, heavy, bursts of rain. I can honestly say this is the first time I have ever seen the creek overflow. As I watched the water rise and rush I started to wonder, not about the possibility of flooding but rather about the power of nature. I was pulled in by the sound and the sight of the creeks might and I smiled. If I were a daring woman, I would have stepped in just to see where it would take me, just to feel the power of this creek that for years was calm. I am much like the creek I believe, I have what it takes to power through the pathways of life, to break over the walls that confine me, to rush past the boulders in my way... if only, when the storms of life find me.

DV
August 19, 2010.

Everyone's a critic

2010-08-04T13:01:00.003-04:00

I was watching the television and it occurred to me that most commercials are, well, stupid. I don't mean silly, ha ha, I mean pointless, so out there you are left wondering what the point was. Then there are a few works of true talent, as they all should be. The ones that have you laughing, singing along, the ones that catch your attention and leave an impression. That my friend is the difference between throwing something out there and a work of art. Needless to say it all got me thinking, what if I were to critic the endless commercials that seem to rule the world of television...maybe I will, after all, everyone is a critic!

D.V.

It made me wonder...

2010-07-25T01:32:00.002-04:00

what happens when the evil dies
the darkness found beyond your eyes
that thing that keeps you watching
does life turn into nothing
when you become obsessed to find
what lurks both in and out of time
what one must truly feel
to know that it is real
that thing that casts a shadow wide
enough that it can surely hide
from all who tries to see
do you then cease to be...
or are your fears set free.

Deo Volente
July 24, 2010

If

2010-07-18T23:11:00.004-04:00

if only...
I could touch the stars
to take each one into my arms
I'd drown inside their glow
I love them don't you know

if only
I could reach the moon
beyond the strength of earthy pull
to glide from tip to tip
upon the moon I'd skip

if only
I could touch the sky
each cloud no more than inches by
I'd drift off in the blue
and bid sweet Earth adieu

if only
I could bravely scale
each mountain side and never fail
I'd stand upon each summit
just proud that I had done it

if only
I could sail the seas
from shore to shore with stroke of ease
each wave another guide
upon its strength I'd glide

if only
I could know this Earth
before its wonder knows my girth
then if would simply be...
the cast that makes the key
that sets this spirit free.

Deo Volente
July 18, 2010

Age

2010-07-16T22:05:00.004-04:00

Somewhere inside a young girl hides
not quite a sweet sixteen,
full of life, of hopes, of dreams.
Ready to take on the world,
a stubborn, feisty, naive girl.
Thirsty for adventure,
refusing to surrender.
As time goes by she finds more rage,
while I sit back and slowly age.
Sweet girl much you don't know
but I wont let you go.
You are the blue within my fire,
your spark, no question I desire.
The vibrance of your light,
gives me the strength to fight
and though your road I do not envy,
you fill this aging heart a plenty.
Sweet girl that I adore
so spread thy wings and soar...
oh youth within my core.

Deo Volente
July 17, 2010

Incomparable...

2010-07-14T11:07:00.003-04:00

There is no sound as beautiful
as the voice of encouragement
no touch as gentle
as the hand of support
no thought as charitable
as an act of selflessness
no gift so precious
as the blessing of a child...
and no blessing as great
as Gods undying love.

Deo Volente
July 14, 2010

Lost...

2010-07-13T01:02:00.004-04:00

Another day wasted
another day lost
a price to be paid at dearest cost
dreams unfulfilled
hopes gone away
another chance not taken
is all I can say

Another path ventured
a future unknown
a heart whispers softly
beyond flesh and bone

One breath slowly taken
two eyes open wide
as minutes turn to hours
more wishes set aside

if not for the challenge
if not for the pain
if not for the doubts
that come with the rain
if not for the reasons
that find their way through
to poison the magic of all one could do

another day wasted
another day lost...
tis only on the final chime
will life reveal the cost.

Deo Volente
July 12, 2010

just a thought

2010-07-03T23:48:00.002-04:00

If by failure I gain knowledge
then by failure I succeed

DV
July 3, 2010

Quantity not Quality...

2010-06-28T10:43:00.003-04:00

As though the crashing of my computer and the loss of 4 years, yes 4 years worth of poetry and photos wasn't enough, the air conditioner decided to die while we were out. Since both were purchased 5 years ago I have to wonder if they were designed that way. I am beginning to think that these things we have become so dependent upon are made not to last but rather to fail so as to increase the profit margin of those who make them. I know I have asked this before but I have to ask again... what ever happened to quality man made products? It is amazing to me that structures built by ancient civilizations still stand virtually untouched 100 years later and we, with all our advancements are incapable of building or making something that lasts at least 1/10 of a century....

Deo Volente
June 28, 2010

Woman

2010-06-16T13:42:00.001-04:00

Catch her in the winds sweet smell
Tis not of love but core she’ll tell
Words elude her
Whispers move her
This breath of life she could not catch
As days bore fruit and wonders hatched
Where passions ran so deep
To live, to love, to sleep
Where mirrors told their tale of lies
Twas by the might of wind she’d fly
On wings of glory’s own
Life’s blessings lead her home...
once child, how much she’s grown.

Deo Volente
June 16, 2010

soccer fever

2010-06-16T12:15:00.002-04:00

Every four years I get loud, nothing gets me going like a good soccer match. I never watch with a favorite in mind, I let the matches determine who I cheer for and no it is not about the score, it is about the players. When a team plays, clean, fair and hard they earn my voice in their corner. That said I must tell you, I have a pet peeve...goalies who leave their goal open. A goal keepers job is to defend his goal, it is his only job. So whenever a goalie ventures out into the thick of the game it gets my blood boiling, especially when as a result of his misstep he fails to stop a strike. Today I thought Spain's goalkeeper caused their loss, he should have stayed in the goal and on top of that his effort to stop the ball was overkill so I say...good for Switzerland, they deserve that win.

DV

high not low

2010-06-09T23:51:00.002-04:00

Today I was determined to have a good day and all was well until I got the mail. How is it that there are days that no matter how hard you try the cosmos is determined to throw you off. None-the-less I am proud to say that after the initial jolt that came with the unwanted news... I, keeper of my sanity, made the decision to jump back on the horse that is my pleasant disposition and ride into a night of unwavering joy. Yes, I am in a good mood and I am determined to keep it that way.

DV

dreading summer

2010-06-07T23:43:00.002-04:00

Ok, you may have noticed that I am not at all enthused about this summer, truth be told it is the first time I have found myself not thrilled at the thought of summer. I hope that this feeling will dull and as the days roll by I will rekindle my love affair with the season. Till then I am counting the minutes and watching the clock slowly move forward.

Make hast you turning hands of time
be swift about these days of mine
I've lost this love of old
this heart to thine is cold
where passion was a fevered boil
now tick and tock of endless toil
so minuscule the pleasure
of days I once would treasure
sweat beats upon this weary face
as I must walk this wretched pace
one foot before the next
this season has me vexed
yet truth be told I must declare
tis not for season I am here
immersed in web of toil
events did season spoil
these boulders mounting one by one
has done my love of summer wrong
they've tainted what was true
grey skies that once shone blue
now turn like casket screw.

Deo Volente
June 08, 2010

not yet...

2010-06-07T00:01:00.006-04:00

Summer, you've crept up on me
like a thief under the blanket of night
I shiver with the chill of you
cringe at the thought of your touch
would it be rude of me to tell you go!
of summers past I pine
you, new summer, are not mine.

Deo Volente
June 07, 2010

Thoughts

2010-06-02T15:48:00.002-04:00

I often have so many thoughts rushing through my mind that I find it almost impossible to rest, which means sleep becomes a figment of my imagination, for without rest, sleep shall not be. It is at times like these that I tend to write the most, not merely because these thoughts bombard me but rather because it is the only way to quiet them. I must put them on paper to remove them from my mind, sounds crazy doesn't it? It may surprise you to know that being that way doesn't worry me. It is when I am unable to put pen to paper no matter how many thoughts trample across my mind that worries me. When words fail me, for it is then that I find myself feeling lost in a sea of my own emotions and no matter what I do, until I am so moved these waves cannot come ashore, leaving me despairingly adrift, destined for the wreckage that I have concluded, must without question be the solid white of insanity.

Deo Volente
June 2, 2010

Jamaica

2010-05-26T10:29:00.002-04:00

I believe there is nothing so hot as that which has reached its boiling point. I fear that this could be the reason for the recent trouble that has erupted in the area of Tivoli Gardens in Kingston Jamaica. I have been feverishly weeding through the many and varied reports and have found to my dismay, that much of what is being circulated is based solely on rumor and has no factual merit. This sort of propaganda is merely fuel for the fire under a pot already boiling over. It is imperative that the truth be told and it hurts me to say that I am yet to find the whole truth. What I do know is, this began as a result of an extradition request, that violence erupted in retaliation to the signing of said request, which caused the issuance of travel advisories by the international community and most importantly innocent persons mainly children are being affected.

The extradition request for a resident of the Tivoli Gardens area to face multiple charges in the United States was delayed through court proceeding and legal technicalities for several months by the Jamaican Government most notably the Prime Minister. Only God knows the true reason for the delay but it is my belief that this delay for whatever reason gave those who opposed it ample time to prepare for what seems to be outright war. Starting with access roads to Tivoli being blocked and growing from there.

Police stations in and around the area were targeted, one was set on fire others reported being fired upon. What caused this turn, only those involved would be able to say but in return the Jamaica Armed forces were sent into the affected area in an effort to bring the uprising to an end which as we can safely surmise caused the outside World to sit up and take notice.

The fighting between those individuals and the Armed Forces drew national attention as the casualty rate slowly rose on both sides. As though the situation isn't bad enough, the misinformed along with those who choose not to verify or to question what they've heard have gone viral. Using Facebook, Twitter and Youtube as tools to spread information that is unsubstantiated or in some cases completely false. Much like the Chinese telephone game played as children, information spread, changing and in some cases taking on a life of its own, which resulted in travel advisories being issued from the USA, England and Canada. What those who choose to engage in propaganda fail to realise is they contribute to the compounding damage that the situation already has on those who live in the country.

It hurts my heart to see this beautiful country so divided, this situation will have a ripple effect because it will affect the tourist industry and much of the country depends on this industry to survive. However more painful is the reality that no matter how this ends, it will leave the children caught in the middle of it forever scarred. As anyone who is familiar with Jamaica knows, this is CXC time and the thought of children who live or attend schools in and around the affected area having to face the challenges of this turmoil when they are already on edge about sitting their exams breaks my heart.

This pot has been bubbling for more years than I can count but now that it has began to boil maybe it will be an opportunity for everyone in Jamaica to start fresh, back to the days of "One People" back to the days of "One Love" back to the days of being able to disagree without the need of violence, the days of an island united, an island of persons that not only said but believed the words of their pledge...

JAMAICA PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

Before God and All mankind.

I pledge the love and loyalty of my heart

The wisdom and courage of my mind,

The strength and vigour of my body

in the service of my fellow citizen.

I promise to stand up for justice,

Brotherhood and Peace,

to work diligently and creatively,

To think generously and honestly,

so that, Jamaica, may

under God, increase in beauty,

fellowship and prosperity,

and play her part

in advancing the welfare

of the whole human race.

...God Bless Jamaica
Deo Volente
May 26, 2010

The heart never forgets.

2010-05-21T13:39:00.003-04:00

Have you ever found yourself in a position where all the flags and alarms said RUN! well if you have, we have something in common. I find it hard to trust those who have, simply because they could, betrayed my trust. However I have to wonder if in spite of my reservations, considering the circumstances, the words that were so painstakingly uttered and might I add repeated to be sure I heard, were genuine. The thing is, this person has never not once in my life said these things, she may have once or twice "pretended" to care in order to manipulate a situation but never has she done this before. I frankly was dumbfounded, certain (ish) she did not mean a word of it. Yet I found myself feeling sorry for her, I can't imagine how it must feel to be so cold and calculating, that has got to be hard work, don't you think? Never the less there is good in her somewhere I am sure of that after-all God made her. That said I am going to accept her words but leave things just as they are because like it or not we are too far gone to turn back now.

Deo Volente
May 21, 2010

update.

2010-05-19T14:50:00.001-04:00

So far this has been a challenging week, it just goes to show one should never get too comfortable.

DV

Sir Rooster

2010-05-19T14:30:00.003-04:00

Why does the Rooster crow
please tell me if you know
I'd bet it's not because the day
has started so to make its way
across the burning sky...
that may just be a lie
I tell you if I had to guess
the reason would be his distress
a tortured bird is he
for no he cannot flee
tormented by his feathered cell
each morn he is compelled to yell
to tell the world his tale
for though he is to scale...
his wings shall always fail.

Deo Volente
May 18, 2010.

Wishing...

2010-05-19T00:28:00.002-04:00

how beautiful the day, that starts on a wish
a dream cast upon a falling star
from a hope that finds its wings
to a melody that sings
on mountain tops as vast as they are great
how wonderful the feeling of true faith.

two reaching arms that will embrace
contagious smile across one face
to catch the eyes of all who dare to see
a breath that sets the spirit of life free

the drive to live not just exist
finding the strength not to resist
knowing that the sun will always shine
how marvelous the wish that is Divine.

a kiss that sails across the sky
each quenching drop from clouds that cry
birds that sing in harmony their song,
yes a day born from a wish may not be long...
but it simply is too precious to be wrong.

Deo Volente
may 18, 2010.

Wind

2010-05-18T18:34:00.004-04:00

oh sweet wind
may I be the leaf
you toss about in swirl and sweep
that flies alone in your embrace
in sonnet of transparent grace
to see what lies beyond the tree
oh in your arms I'd like to be

to hoist that sail of dreams alone
and let your touch direct me home
but fanciful is such delight
for sweet wind you are fierce in might
the gentle that is on your gauge
can quickly turn into such rage

If all you seek is but a leaf
then you become a whispered thief
but if sights set upon the tree
then roots and all yours it shall be
your heavy hand of force...
will not be set off-course

yet foolishly I close these eyes
and wish to be the leaf that flies
for gentle is your sway
if only for a day...
sweet wind to sail away.

Deo Volente
May 18, 2010

Shhhh...

2010-05-16T14:28:00.003-04:00

At times I find myself begging for silence
words are marvelous but silence is superior
there is so much power in silence it can be deafening
it begs the speaker to listen, the thinker to think
it moves the believer and shakes the non believer
I adore its power, I covet its presence, I revel in it
every chance I get.
Yes there is Majesty in the toss of the wind
grace in the whisper of love
glory in the sound of the spoken truth
yet none of these can bring me as close to peace as the blessing of silence.
I am told that it is golden, I believe that it is benevolent...
it is my desire today.

Deo Volente
May 16, 2010.

connection

2010-05-10T23:13:00.002-04:00

On mother's day I got the usual calls but one seemed to explain the heaviness that was on my heart on Thursday of last week. Maybe I am over thinking it a bit but it would certainly explain why out of nowhere I felt so out of sorts and why just as suddenly as that dark feeling came over me, on Friday when I awoke it was gone. I often wonder if the love we feel for those close to us can actually make us feel their pain even when we are unaware that they are in pain. I suppose that is the theory behind the connection of twins but I am not a twin. Never the less I was informed that a friend had had emergency surgery around the time my heart sank. I thank God it all went well and I pray I never have that heavy feeling again, not just because it felt so overwhelming but because now I know it really means something.

Be Well
Deo Volente
May 10, 2010

darkness.

2010-05-07T01:35:00.003-04:00

I believe that some days need more prayers than others, today or rather yesterday was just such a day. Nothing went wrong but everything felt wrong. My heart felt heavy as though something was nagging at me and I just could not shake the feeling. It didn't help at all that I have perhaps the worst headache I have had in my life but still I tried to muddle through it all. It's not the first time I have had this feeling and I suspect it will not be the last. Never the less I figured I would step out into the virtual world and seek some form of pick me up and just as dark as my day was so was my virtual walk. I watched a report about a very grim situation in Jamaica which made me truly sad, then I saw a video about a young woman who had been in a plain wreck and that just made me want to cry. The woman was severely burned but to me, she radiated beauty. I guess yesterday was not meant for laughter, I was simply supposed to wallow in a dreary corner of my soul and muddle through the aches and pains that perched on my heart...maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day, maybe tomorrow my sun will shine.

Deo Volente
May 7, 2010.

hermit I am

2010-05-04T08:18:00.003-04:00

I never go where the crowds gather
where others believe they must be
I never blend in with the masses
for fear that somehow I'll lose me

I rather not venture with many
I simply prefer just a few
it's woven so into my being
tis all that my heart knows to do

those paths that are worn
I shaln't tarry
those roads so well paved I ignore
I rather the path never taken
the rugged terrain I adore

It maybe that fear is my motive
it maybe that I am just shy
It could be a fortress of reasons
the truth is I do not know why

I'd rather be one woman standing
a single small voice in the rain
and when each tomorrow comes calling
I'm sure I shall do it again

I rather not follow the pavers
or tar on the path someone made
for I treasure that which makes me marvel
and believe my own path must be laid.

Deo Volente
May 4th 2010

Lessons

2010-04-28T17:22:00.003-04:00

If there is to be change
then lessons must take heart
for he who heeds the tides about
is as keen as he is smart
nothing comes to be without a reason
splendor can be found in every season
every road that one must venture
has its journey of surrender...
curves that come about in dark or light
bumps that bring contentment after fright
yes if eyes are never open
then so much shall not be seen
like the sunshine in its' glory
and the endless grass of green
it's true that spring will always follow winter
and wisdom not applied is sure to hinder.

Deo Volente
April 28, 2010.

And... dreams

2010-04-28T17:20:00.000-04:00

I dreamt of you last night my dear
we laughed as though we had no care
we talked about a thing or two
while sharing stories old and new
and though my dear we weren't alone
our moments seemed to be our own
just two old friends within a crowd
a blessing God himself allowed...
to find its way into my dreams
which caused my heart this morn to beam.

Deo Volente
April 20, 2010

80 vs 20

2010-04-07T20:51:00.002-04:00

I happened to watch the movie why did I get married and though I like the movie I have to say I liked the analogy of the 80 20 rule more than anything else. It holds true that in our time people, men and women alike tend to want what they do not have not realising that they may already have much more... it really is a grass is greener state of mind. The ability to find contentment and joy from the blessings that we are given seems to be impossible for most. Why is that? no one is perfect, of that I am sure but we as a people need to make a greater effort to teach our children to value all things in life no matter how small they may think them to be and to treat others the way they want others to treat them...wishful thinking I suppose.

Deo Volente
April 7th 2010

An angel home bound

2010-03-26T08:19:00.003-04:00

Today a son is laid to rest
undoubtedly his parents test.
Their hearts will ache forever more
as angels knocked upon their door
To quickly take into embrace
and leave but memories in his place.
A son not more that 15 years,
today his parents will shed tears.
they'll do their best to comprehend,
a heart that God alone will mend.
Each beat of love and endless grace
each pulse with every bat and base.
Those dreams of years not meant to be,
for God had other plans you see...
but blessed they were to share his smile
To have him for a little while
to hear him laugh and wipe his tears
if only for those 15 years
His room with all his things remain
yet life shall never be the same
Embraced by Jesus at God's side
in heaven he will now reside
and as those left behind will cry
this day they bid their last goodbye...
the heavens will rejoice in song,
for now they're one more angel strong.

Deo Volente
March 25, 2010.

deception

2010-03-20T23:28:00.005-04:00

Not I said the fly
as he sat on the fence
so filled with pretence
certain that he would be believed
with the greatest intent to deceive
He gave a big beaming smile
with his own special style
and a wink that did make his eye spark
this fly had the heart of a shark
and although he insisted
the wise they resisted
knowing that the proof was in the cake ...
this fly was cloaked in icing for goodness sake.

Deo Volente
March 20, 2010